Thanks Ben Gibbard!

A few weeks ago, I went to go and see Death Cab for Cutie play. They were amazing. Totally the best show I've ever seen. That's not the point. DCfC has a lot of songs about love. Ben was asking the crowd (you know, because he can so hear an answer) about how many people were in love. A bunch of people cheered. My Aunt and I glared at them. Ben went on to say that many people think that spring is the time to fall in love, what with everything blooming and coming to life. He disagrees. He feels that you should all fall in love in the fall time. Why? Because otherwise you'll be cold and freeze your ass off. Taking Ben's advice, I shall find someone to snuggle up with this fall because I was SO FUCKING COLD LAST NIGHT and it was not acceptable.

Achilles (new name for Pie Guy, let's all try to keep up, okay?) cancelled on me tonight. He's not feeling well and that's okay. We all get sick and we move on. I told him to pick another night for dinner and a "shove". Why did I put shove in quotation marks? I have no fucking idea. I didn't really think that part out. I just wanted to amuse myself at work and make my day slightly better. So that's how you get "shove".

(Backstory on shove - in my family, when someone says or does something that you don't like, you can give them a shove. You can say "I'm giving you a shove" and then shove them or you can ask someone to give someone else a shove, ie "Kim, please give my mom a shove for that comment". I explained this shoving concept to Achilles and he thought it was great. So I told him I would be shoving him).

Converation that followed the "shove"
Him: Wait. Since you put "shove" in quotes, are you implying something besides actual shoving?
Me: What do you think it means?
Him: If it involves a spider monkey and a bottle of thousand island dressing, I'm out
Me: Why would it involve thousand island? It's balsalmic all the way
Him: Too acidic....creamy italian and we got a deal
Me: Fine..but I get to pick a brand.

Again, I had no idea where I was going with this, but I was going there. I didn't know what he was thinking that I was meaning. So we're all confused and we all can be happy with that knowledge

I'm trixy!

Sometimes, I feel as though I have nothing to put for a title. Then I think of a title name and I realized I've already used it. Then I realize I'm just a lame ass. And that's what goes through my head as I put up a blog post...huzzah!

First - update on that guy. The Pie Guy. He so needs a better name, but for now, we're going with Pie Guy. God, that's a horrible name. Whatever. Moving on. Pie Guy and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night. Like, on a 2nd date. Whoa! Excitement? I think so. We're going to a classy burger joint and it should be pretty excellent. I've been there a million times before and he's NEVER been there, so I think that this should be a good time. He seems to think that I'm as super cool as I think that I am, so that's a good sign. I really do like him and he's good people. So, we shall see where this goes. I'm going away this weekend and he's going away this weekend, so I won't see him until next week if all goes bad. Which I don't think it will.

That's about all the excitement I have had lately. Just Pie Guy, texting me amusing things and wondering if I got escorted out of the building after I told them I was leaving (I didn't). (I did, however, laugh in the HR lady's face. That was special).

I am also making an effort to not use the word "awesome". Lilo forwarded me some email about how people overuse the word awesome. I will make a huge effort to not say that word. It's generally the first word to come to my brain. So this should be a good time.

In more totally unrelated things...I love this blog post. I think this blogger is one of the best bloggers out there and I really enjoy reading her posts. Anyway, I think this post is exceptionally good because it has made me think. She has a point. You can look into your baggage and pick and choose what you talk about. You can drag it around and it hurts you when it's too much and when it's just fine you don't even notice. I've had baggage. At times, it's felt like a giant steamer trunk that I have to drag down the stairs behind me. Now, I feel like my baggage is like a camping backpack. I've got it strapped on and it's a little big, but I can carry it and it's not going to get me down.

the times - they are changing

So, big news – I met a guy from Match and he’s not totally a freak. I haven’t come up with a name yet for him. I’ve been telling Darcy that he’s pretty Fab. Not FABULOUS, but just fab. Cause he is. I’ve just enlisted Summer to help me come up with a name for him. I really have no idea what to call him. We went and had pie yesterday. We sat in the diner for 2 hours, laughing and having a really great time. And then he showed me his knob…IN HIS CAR. Perverts. I didn’t see that knob. Then we were joking about him showing me his knob on the first date and so on. I’ve never had so much fun doing relatively nothing with a guy I just met. We’re getting dinner one night this week, so that’s excellent. I enjoy his company and I enjoy him. So…good.

In other totally unrelated news – I just got a new job! That should have nothing to do with the dating scene but it does. My job now makes me all sorts of miserable. My new job will make me less miserable (at least that’s what SHOULD happen) and that will change the way I see things. I was telling the pie guy about it. It’s just such a shock because I’ve been thinking about getting a new job and going on interviews and getting nowhere and being so crestfallen about the entire thing and all of the sudden things changed. I was talking to the pie guy on Thursday night (after my interview) and I told him that I didn’t think that I would be getting this job and that I would likely be staying at this miserable place for a while. And low and behold – new job. New guy.

I am having the best week ever.

No joke.

There’s really not much that could make this week better.

Oh wait, yes there is. I’ve lost damn near 25 pounds. This weekend was the first time that anyone in my extended family had seen me in a while and everyone kept on telling me how great I looked. No one has really been saying that. I mean, I know I’ve been losing weight, none of my clothes fit and so on. But that’s the first time that anyone actually acknowledged that I’m a little bit thinner. I’m going to keep on going and keep on losing weight because I can. Because I’m having the best week ever. I’m losing weight and getting a new job and finding new exciting people. So nothing in that chain of awesomeness better break. I would be a little sad. But I’ll dust myself off, pick myself back up and keep on going. As Meatloaf said – 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

Now it’s time to get back to a job that I only have 9 more days of! 9 more! I gave my two weeks this morning. It’s really hard to make myself work. But I have to do it. C’mon self, do your work

This might be an overshare...

Dr. Lady pocket: Do you have a special guy in your life?
Me: No. I have a few unspecial ones though
Dr. Lady Pocket: Yes, that happens.

She also told me to not wait until I was 47 to get married because then there are "slim pickens"

Thanks Dr. Lady Pocket!

WTF

I swear something will be coming from me soon. Until then, here's an awkward moment between Darcy and Chickenkiller....

Chicken killer: umm
Chicken killer: this 33 yr old lady wants to meet me from pof
Darcy: Lovely...
Chicken killer: she lives 4 hrs away
Darcy: Did you say no thank you/
Chicken killer: i said i would need to get to know her more
Darcy: Well, that's good.
Chicken killer: she nah you wont understand
Darcy: I won't understand, or she didn't understand when you said that?
Chicken killer: 'you wont
Darcy: Well, I'm okay w/ that too.
Chicken killer: she a wiccan
Darcy: Well, what's wrong w/ that?
Chicken killer: do know what they can do
Darcy: Like a crazy wiccan, or a "I love they earth" type?
Darcy: Because I grew up w/ a wiccan friends....
Chicken killer: noo
Chicken killer: they can astro project
Darcy: Huh? Okay, so she's the "crazy" kind?
Chicken killer: she was there in my room last nighjt
Darcy: Matt... That's kinda ridiculous...
Chicken killer: see
Chicken killer: you dont understand
Darcy: Did she tell you that, and then you "felt" it?
Chicken killer: felt
Chicken killer: and saw
Darcy: I just want to make sure she's not tricking you or anything...
Chicken killer: dude
Chicken killer: i know how to astro project
Chicken killer: and she was in my room telling me to meet her
Darcy: Really?
Chicken killer: i hate it
Darcy: And how long have you been able to do this?
Chicken killer: since
Chicken killer: 15
Darcy: Where do you go when you're doing it?
Chicken killer: why
Chicken killer: i meet this girl name holly and we hang out
Darcy: No, I meant when you astro project...
Chicken killer: ya
Chicken killer: i hang out with this girl
Chicken killer: name holly
Darcy: But where?
Chicken killer: where ever she wants to go
Darcy: How far away from yourself?
Darcy: Is Holly the Wiccan, or a different person who can do it too?
Chicken killer: holly is a girl i ment a long time ago
Chicken killer: who i ment from asto projecting
Chicken killer: and i wish i can fine where she lives
Chicken killer: so we can really date
Darcy: Huh...
Chicken killer: i dont know where she from
Darcy: Can you talk to her?
Chicken killer: when i do it yes
Chicken killer: we can talk and walk and ot her stuff too
Darcy: Have you tried asking where she lives?
Chicken killer: she doesnt want to tell me


Anybody want to shed some light on this? Seriously...

Yay, something to post

This is the message I just got on match:

Can you tell me your name? My name is Joe.

You have a good day and take care,
Joe

And yes, I could tell you my name. But no, I'm not. He's a little older than any guy I would be willing to date (try 39) and his entire profile reads like Yoda wrote it. His tagline (or whatever you want to call it) says "A Person Who is Really Special Very Much is Who I Seek". What? His info? Be prepared for this, cause I'm reading it out loud and I can't wrap my brain around it. I don't know if it's supposed to be a poem, but I know some poets and I think that they would agree this is pretty much...nonsense.

You Deserve a Poem


You wonder who I am, quiet, reserved and secretive, others notice emotions, felt, wonder how to draw me out. Stubborn and tough, fight position, enjoy life at cutting edge, life experienced intensely and totally. Courageous and taking calculated risks, sensitive, curious and concerned with deeper mysteries of human psychology, subject, pursue with total fanaticism. Patient, prolong and savor enjoyable times. Warm. Results from any situation, abstractions difficult to comprehend, mold, and shape things. Careful thinker, present ideas visually, concretely, useful for attention, cautious, conservative in thought, slow to opinions, appeal to logic, and reason. Affectionate and hates to be tied down. Aggressor, initiate relationships and set sights on someone. Action motivated by morals and ideals. Work to improve on world, demand action and don't like to sit and talk. Like action. Resist attempts to limit freedom, assist anyone who feels put down and restricted. Expansive, ease doing something practical, enjoy duty, and carry responsibilities. Gladly take tasks others avoid. Choice makes me ill at ease. Must have firm, ordered and secure foundation in life to feel comfortable. I have free, unstable, unconventional approach to relationships, and emotional commitments. Experiments in marriage, shared lifestyles and freedom important than entangle emotional bonds. Attracted to bizarre, interested in deep, mystery, explore, idealize benefits can accrue from study of occult, and healing. Finished horror book; art, poetry, NYC, Port Chester and CT. Take notes, five fictions and romance novel. Movies: Lamora, Portrait of Jenny, Citizen Kane, etc. I choose dull colors over bright. Artists: Robert Williams, Winston Smith, Norman Rockwell, etc. Magazine: Juxtapoz. Publishing companies: Last Gasp and Feral House. Design: Victorian, Art Deco, etc. (How a lady should be treated.) Not tell you what to do, secret and adventurous frontiers. Won't conquer you and initiatives come from you. Ask me and I’ll do it immediately. Challenge you. Converse in trees, flowers and ecology in romantic restaurant, you'll not find me try to break your habits. Various questions in conversation, talk to you of tomorrow what I'll participate in (with you.) Speak of books. People watch, lessons in dance, language and travel. Walk and arrange shared activities. Can be in beginning, gossip, change topics doesn't bother me. Play games never offends me. Help execute your plans. Mention to you different ways you're beautiful, nice and good. Take you to movie/theater and be your audience. I will not put you down. Mention to you if I’ll get advice, opinion and humor in what I say and in action. You'll feel peace. You'll be appreciated of your job. I forbid anyone to push you into a decision; we’ll weigh pros and cons. You'll be asked if you have artistic and aesthetic desires. You'll hear a favor from you to mention how I dress, your opinion of interior design. You'll have my point-of-view if you need it; you'll balance in peace and harmony. Prepared, your deepest emotions, jealousy, won't delve into your past if you prefer. Show you what I decide, go for with a smile. Light candles. Bring up something unheard. Mysterious places. Can you/would you admit if you like to be teased? Perform unusually, witty, and unpredictable, you don't want to be shocked, I understand. Hike, venture in another town. I'll know your philosophy. A lady who is secured, notice me being experimental. A woman will be encouraged to make dreams a reality. A person is given strength. A noblewoman receives poems. You'll be touched as your palm is read. A female finds out of a dreamy moment, a gentle woman with someone who acknowledges however to treat a female person with respect, from a man who is real. You're a lady, how you should be treated, and one day at a time. Can't forget a relationship is destiny because if anything else replacing destiny only ruin the relationship.


I am so confused. Seriously and totally so confused.