Sometimes I don't even have to try

I know I haven't updated in a while. Fear not, here's a post to tide you over. There is a guy that I've been talking to that I kind of like (he reminds me of Dickhole Pete in his general awesomeness. That's the only way that they are similiar) but I haven't thought of a name yet. So be ready for that when it comes.

Instead, I bring you a story. It actually doesn't involve me at all. We all remember Trogdor correct? Well, Trogdor wanted to be a writer. He's not a very good writer. I know some people that are actually good writers. He is so not one of them. He wrote a story of erotic fiction. And here it is (warning - there's some inappropriate language in here...nothing worse than what I've said though....)
Rising on the Road
Erotic Fiction - Heterosexual
Written by Trogdor
My name’s Chris. I’ve always been one of those introverted, bookish types. You’ll never see me travel without a book in my hand. Jeez, you’ll never see me without a book in my hand period. I only say travel because this story takes place on a bus ride from New York to Boston. I was going there to see an old friend from college. After an excruciating wait at Gate 84 of Port Authority Bus Terminal, I found a window seat towards the back of the bus. I open my duffel bag, take out my copy of Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms, close the bag, and put it in the overhead compartment. I open it up and begin reading.

As I read, this lean-looking blonde with hazel eyes, a solid figure, tight black pants, and a white tank top stops at the seat next to me and sits down. I attempt to appear enraptured in my book. She looks over and asks, “What are you reading?” I tell her. She says, “That cover’s hot.” The cover is of a man and woman engaged in a passionate kiss. I tell her, “Yeah. Those are the main characters.”
“Is it a romance?”
I guess you don’t know your Hemingway too well, I think to myself. “Kinda,” I said. “It takes place during World War I, and this ambulance driver falls in love with a nurse.”
“Really,” she says. “Do they have hot sex?”
“Oh yeah,” I tease. “They do it in the hospital, they do it in the ambulance, they even do it in the guys’ barracks.”
“Really,” she said as her hazel eyes took on that seductive glare.
“Yeah, really,” I respond.
“Can I borrow it for a bit?” she said with a raise of her eyebrow.
“Well, what would you do for it?”
“I’ll take out my blanket and share it with you.”
I put my chin between my thumb and forefinger, look at her for a few seconds, and say, “Oh fine, if you insist.”
“Jerk,” she says lightly as she taps me lightly on the shoulder.
She reaches into the overhead compartment, takes out a white blanket decorated with red lips, and spreads it over both of us. In return, I hand her the book.
The bus driver makes his announcements about final destinations, rules for bus etiquette, etc., as I take out my journal and begin writing, while she starts reading. Pure silence for an hour, as she continues to read and I begin writing random thoughts in my journal. “Horny.” “Suck me.” “Lick me.” “Fuck me.” As these thoughts are making their way to the paper, I feel a tiny hand rubbing against the upper part of my left leg. That hand, of course, is connecting to her body, while her eyes stare straight ahead with a seductive glare, as if she’s trying to bed the back of the seat in front of her.
She unzips my pants slowly. She then reaches in and fondles my genital area outside of my underwear. My penis is throbbing hard. As she continues to fondle, I reach my left hand under her blanket and begin to rub against her bare leg. Her glare turns to a smile, as she closes her eyes and gives a hard squinty smile. I slowly move her leg and towards her thigh, just above the seam of her pants. I then reach my hand inside her pants and begin to fondle with the tip of her clitoris. She begins breathing heavily as she strokes my cock harder and faster. I reach my fingers into her pussy and start fingering in and out. Harder. Faster. She breathes heavier and her pussy gets wetter as she strokes faster and my cock gets harder. I’m full of aggression as I feel fire coming out of my nose as I fondle harder. My cock is now at its maximum erectional capacity. I feel sperm coming on as I fondle harder, and I shoot right into her hand as her clitoris retracts. She closes her eyes and the lips of her mouth spread out in a wide smile. She lays her head on my chest as I scratch her leg slowly. I feel my eyes closing shut.
I’m woken by an announcement that says, “We’re now arriving in Boston. Please check around your seating area for any items you may have brought on board.” I slowly open my eyes as my new companion slowly lies off my chest and raises her arms. I do the same and give her a smile. As I’m wondering what to say, she reaches into the overhead compartment and pulls down her pocketbook. She takes out a pen and a piece of paper and writes on it. “Give me a call when you get back to New York,” she says as she smiles seductively, flips her hair around, and walks into the aisle. I take it out and it reads, “212-745-1893.” No name?

That explains so much. Just so much. Who writes like that? When I read "maximium erectional capacity" I almost died. That's just not right. But you can bet your ass I am going to use it whenever I can. It's just such an awkward story and it's not written well and geeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

As I said to Summer...Trogdor wanting to be a writer and getting erotic fiction published is on par with me wanting to be a radio DJ (cause I do) and instead being a phone sex operator. It's just not the same and doesn't equal what you're looking for.

Gah

Trogdor yet again asked me what I was doing next weekend (which is now this weekend) because he wanted to hang out. Seriously man. Seriously.

But in mostly truth, I am busy until the middle of September with plans. And by "busy" I mean that I might have one thing to do that day but I could stretch it out to take the whole day. I am a bad bad person.

Ugh

In talking to The Brewmaster yesterday (because I went out last night with him and Summer), I found out that he had talked to Jimbo about Saturday night and Trogdor's plans. And apparently, Trogdor KNOWS I don't want to hang out with him...and he keeps on asking anyway. I think that's more annoying than him being dumb and not know that I don't want to hang out. It's not even like how you ask someone you work with if they want to come to lunch everyday knowing that she will say no. He has NO REASON to ask me to do anything, but he keeps on doing it. I was so annoyed when I found out. Stop it Trogdor. Just. Stop. It.

Otherwise, I invited The Graduate to come out with Summer and The Brewmaster and I. And surprisingly enough...he came out! I think he had a fun time (I'm talking to him now) and he hasn't said no. I was just inviting him thinking he would have something better to do and he didn't. It was nice to have him there, I think Summer and The Brewmaster liked him. I also got stuck telling a really embarassing story, but I thankfully dodged that bullet. It involved me riding my bike when I was 8 years old screaming "I am Darkwing Duck" and then riding my bike into a tree and wetting my pants. I also might have screamed "I am the terror that flaps in the night!" That's the story. I'm such a winner.

Really?

Last night, Trogdor IMed me. Again. And he told me that he was going out with Jimbo to some place in Yonkers to see some band play on Saturday night. He wanted to know if I wanted to join him. That would be a big, fat NO. I told him I have plans to take my brothers to dinner (which I do) and I don't know how late I will be out. That part is a lie because I have a ballpark idea. And I'm hoping to make other plans after dinner.

Does he really not get the hint that much? I don't talk to him really AT ALL. EVER. Does he not get that I don't want to hang out with him? What he's doing is about equal to me IMing Dickhole Pete and asking if he wanted to go out. I don't talk to him (but I know why) and he's not involved in my life. The results would be the same: No, we're not friends and back off.

I don't know when Jimbo became the BFF with Trogdor, but whatever. Oh Jimbo, I'll have to have a talk with you and your BFFedness with Trogdor. Even the The Brewmaster is like "Jimbo is going out with Trogdor on Saturday night...?"

We're all confused.

Now, The Graduate and Radio Flyer - get to asking me what I'm doing. C'mon, you know you want to. Should I suggest something for us to do? Probably. Am I going to? Nope. "He's just not that into you" told me that I shouldn't. Let's see what happens.

Trogdor strikes again!

He IMed me and wanted to know the next time we were going to get together. Mind you, I haven't talked to him in weeks and all of the sudden, he's interested in what I'm doing. I told him I wouldn't be free until July (only a little bit of a lie) and maybe we could figure something out then. I'm hoping to keep on distracting him until he stops asking. This makes me a bad person. I am okay with that.

Talking to two boys from Match. Both very nice. Don't know anymore than that.

damnnnnnnnnnn you!

Trogdor: we should get together at some point...we also need to exchange dvds
Me: yeah, we should
Me: otherwise i can just put them in the mail
Trogdor: well, we will see each other again
Trogdor: we're still friends
Me: probably
Me: i just don't have much time in the upcoming weeks
Trogdor: going away on the weekends?
Me: no, just lots of activities
Me: seeing old friends i haven't seen in a while
Trogdor: very cool
Me: getting back to the gym hardcore and less fooling around time
Trogdor: good for you!

*headsmash*

And...

When I told him what I did with my co-worker the other day (the thing I thought would really bother him)...it didn't. My plan failed. He was too zen about it.

Damn him

Blast!

Trogdor: so when are we getting together next?
Me: i don't know
Trogdor: we haven't really talked in a while, so i thought you may have forgotten about me
Me: yeah, i've been really busy/was sick/was in vermont
Trogdor: awww...are you feeling better?
Me: not really
Me: Roo is a smoker, so being around her hurt my throat
Trogdor: ahhh...sorry to hear that
Trogdor: yeah, i can't be around too much smoke either
Me: meh
Me: it's Roo and i love her
Me: so i can accept it
Trogdor: that's cool
Trogdor: good friends are a good thing...and a rare find these days
Me: which is why Roo is my awesome friend and we're excited that we're 2 years out of college and still all like the BFF
Trogdor: rock on
Trogdor: speaking of which, my b-day's next month and i'm prolly gonna invite people to white plains to barhop and stuff
Trogdor: and i figure you qualify for the invite...so here it is

Guess who is tragically busy that night? That's right, me.

Nobody has to say anything because I already know what you're going to say.

Okay, I gotta do something

And soon.

Last night, at 12:10 AM (thus making it actually Saturday), I got an text message from Trogdor that said "Happy Friday!" This annoyed me. First, it was late (I was still up, but whatevs) and secondly, it's not like it was even Friday anymore. I know I'm just looking for excuses now. Then I came home and went online to check my email and he IMed me. I was a little not in my right mind (I had some fun at my coworker's house...which sounds weird. It was.) and I couldn't be trusted to talk to him. I know now that if I told him what I did last night, he would probably stop talking to me and that would solve my problem. I don't know if I want to be that mean. If you want to know what I did, tell me and I'll tell you. I shouldn't be posting it in this blog. It's not dirty weird sex or anything. I would totally post that in a blog. HA.

A couple days ago he sent me another text message that said "Happy Hot Dog Day!" My college is weird and doesn't have a "spring weekend". They have Hot Dog Day. I really wanted to go to Hot Dog Day, but since I'm going to see one of my college friends next weekend, I really couldn't afford two roadtrips in two weeks. Gas is like, $4/gallon and I drive an SUV. So, you do the math. The last thing I wanted to hear when I so desperately wanted to to AU was a reminder of HDD. I just wanted to be there, experiencing college (since I apparently can't cut the cord and let go already) and he's reminding me of it. I think what bothers me the most is that he acts like he understands all which is HDD...and he doesn't. He didn't even GO to my college. He's just trying to force himself into situations where he doesn't belong. He can't understand because he wasn't there. And yes, it's only a spring weekend at a college, but it was something special and original to my college. That might be the main reason why I miss it so much. It would be like going away with some friends and having the time of your life. On your return, you tell someone that didn't come along on the trip all the fun you had. Then that person is always like "hey, don't forget PARIS!" and you keep on thinking "YOU WEREN'T THERE!" Regardless, I didn't want him to think he was in on some inside joke that he doesn't even begin to get.

I know what I've said is totally me being a brat. I don't care. I know I need to have this conversation with him. I guess I would have figured out if someone went from wanting to talk to me to not talking to me at all, I would think something is up. He doesn't get that.

I is so trixy....

Last night, Jimbo called to see if I wanted to go into the city (that city being New York) with him and some friends on Saturday night. I guess one of his friends is DJing at Webster Hall. I asked Jimbo if Trogdor was coming (since now Jimbo and Trogdor are the BFF) and he said that he hadn’t invited him yet. I told him I wouldn’t go if Trogdor was going because I don’t want to see him really. I am so passive aggressive. And no, I haven’t had “that talk” with Trogdor yet, but it’s coming. Sooner or later. Since I’m so tricky, trixy even, I went onto myspace and changed my status message to “Carrie is pondering going to the city on Saturday night”. I’m hoping that Nacho sees this message and says “Hey Carrie, you should totally come to the city because we’ll have some fun and I won’t drink so much and all my parts will work.” Somehow I don’t think he will say that, but it would make me so happy if he were to. I just changed it to see if Nacho tries to persuade me to come. It’s the sort of thing I do. Also, I just need to remember to dodge Trogdor. And if Trogdor does go, I might not.

The playas, bitches

Here’s an update on all the players in this story, in case you’re just tuning in…

GIRLS:
Darcy – good friend of mine that started this whole shenningan. She joined POF, I joined POF. This blog was born. The creeps flock to her for some reason.
Summer – another good friend of mine. She’s married and likes my stories because they are silly
Lilo – another good married friend. She is the voice of reason mostly

The men (starting from the beginning)
Footweiner McLovin’ – has been dropped since the footweiner incident. Facebook says he has a girlfriend
Bryan – dropped since the neediness got a little out of control. Don’t know his situation, but was thrilled he wasn’t at the bar on Saturday night
The hipster – not actually hip at all. Really actually lame. Has a girlfriend now and I’m totally way hotter than she is
Trogdor – soon to be dropped because he’s so awkward. Really was interested for a while until he turned out to be strange like and I don’t want that. Was really mean to him and he didn’t get it. May have smoked so much pot that he’s killed ALL his braincells.
Butt Ugly – just that. Thought he would be a the bar on Saturday and he wasn’t either. Joy reined over my life
Old Man – friend of Summer’s husband, then Summer and now me. Is old and makes me laugh because he’s old and can’t stay out with the young kids
Nacho Libre – friend of the Old Man. Met him a few weekends ago…seems to be something. We’ll see how it plays out. He’s flirty
Reaper – good friend of mine that I dated when I was in college. We’re the for serious BFF now
Jimbo – stolen friend from a friend. He just entered the mix, but he should be good for a laugh too. Him and Trogdor are soon going to be the BFF and they will make shit all weird for me. thanks guys, thanks.

Monday Monday

This weekend was interesting to say the least. I was under the impression that Nacho wasn’t going to come but then he had to go off and be a tease. I was getting my hair highlighted on Saturday (I am just sooooooo fancy like that) and I got a text message from a 646 area code. For those not in the know, that’s a city area code. And guess who was texting me? Nacho. He was asking what the plans were for the night because his plans were up in the air. I told him that everyone was coming to my house and that he should come too. He was feeling hungover and lazy, he said and didn’t know if he would make it. I told him he should come because it would be awesome and he agreed. He said it would be awesome because I was there. So then I had a giddy fit. I heard from him a little later on and he was with his family and couldn’t get away. I told him that I would be drinking a whole lot of beer by myself and that made me sad. He said that he would make it up to me. I don’t exactly know what that means, but I like the sound of it.

And that brings me to Trogdor. I told him to bring some friends. Guess what he didn’t do? Bring friends. He did bring his guitar like it was some college party and he was trying to impress me. When he played the guitar, my cat got really angry and made this horribly ugly face. So clearly, the guitar had to go. By this point in my night (this is about 8:30ish), I had decided I really didn’t want Trogdor to be around. Also, I had a bit to drink. I was being really mean to him, apparently. Good thing he smoked so much pot in his youth, cause he didn’t get it. At all. The entire night. I was really a raging bitch to him. I don’t think I realized it, but Darcy pointed it out to me several times. I wasn’t talking to him, I wasn’t making cute smiley faces at him…I wasn’t even standing near him at the bar. In the car on the way back to my house, I was yelling at him to not antagonize me. that’s right, I used the word antagonize in my drunken stupid state. And he kept on antagonizing me and I kept on getting more and more annoyed. I had the beginnings of a migraine and I was lying on the couch when we got back to my house and he touched my head. I don’t know what made him think that was a good idea, but he did it. And I freaked out and started yelling at him for touching my head. I’m sorry, but I was drunk and I dislike him now and the last thing I want anyone to do when I have a migraine is touch me at all.

But bless his dumb self, he didn’t even realize it. Maybe he’s like the scarecrow from “The Wizard of Oz” and in his spare time he sings “If I only had a brain……..” cause it’s clear that he does not. apparently he made a comment to Darcy that on the phone and drunk in person I’m almost the same sort of person. I have no idea what he means because I’m not the same when I’m drunk and when I’m sober on the phone. Then, just because my life is THAT AWESOME, he ended up crashing on my couch AT MY HOUSE because he was too drunk to go home. I guess I wouldn’t want him to drive if he really couldn’t, but still. I did not want him in my house at all. Darcy also spent the night so that I wouldn’t have to be alone in my house with such a fucking creep. I woke up at like 6 AM and I was totally confused because I was still fully dressed and I was on the couch and there was Trogdor on the other couch. I changed into some pajamas and then went to sleep on another couch in another room where Darcy was. I heard Trogdor up and walking around at like, 7:30 and I was hoping that he was leaving. He was not leaving. I have no idea what he did, but I know that I wanted him to go. He left around 8:30. I was about ready to push him out of the house. His car almost didn’t start then (then I would have wanted to kill myself) and then he had issues backing out of my STRAIGHT driveway. I was dying in the driveway. Just dying. I was standing there and smiling, but telling Darcy under my breath how awful this was.

He IMed me last night and told me how much fun he had on Saturday night and that we should do that again sometime. He really is that dumb. He didn’t get that I don’t want him around. Yes, I know I should tell him and this week, I will. Aside from all the things I listed below as the problems I have with him, another one is that he’s just too nice. And I know I need some guy that is nice, but he’s like, spineless nice. He’s a guy I would stomp all over, chew him up and spit him out and generally cause chaos in his life. Every now and again that’s okay, but I know that it would be every day with him and I just don’t want to do that because it’s tiring to me. He can’t stand up to me now and he wouldn’t be able to deal with me then and I’m just cutting the cord now. He’s not strong enough to be my man at all. So I have to tell him that in a nice way. Going back to my whole “I need a guy that’s an octagon” theory…he’s an obtuse angle. Partly because he’s not even a square, partly because he is so duck footed (much like an obtuse angle…get it?!). I’m lame, I know. Another thing was at the bar that we went to, this band was playing. Apparently Trogdor was swaying…but not in time to the music. I don’t expect everyone to dance when we go out, but at least sway in time to the music. He can’t be that big of a moron. Guess what? He is. He’s turned into paper boyfriend. He’s also turned into bag of hammers boyfriend, cause that’s about how smart he is.

And so that was my weekend. It was awesome and fun, but shitty all at once. At least I had Darcy and Summer there to keep me company and my new friend Jimbo as well. We are awesome. Trogdor is not.

Bummer man

So Nacho and the Old Man are both out for tomorrow, which is kind of lame. It's okay though, cause I'll have Summer and Darcy and that's good enough for me. I'll have fun regardless. Nacho said he was going to "keep in touch" like we were fucking pen pals or bunkmates at camp. What in the sweet hell does that mean? I bet nothing. Stupid ass. Apparently there is a fight tomorrow night and that's cooler than me. I could punch him in the face a couple of times and it would amount to just about the same, I bet.

Trogdor is coming tomorrow though (it's not like I can uninvite him, but the though crossed my mind) and he's bringing a friend. So we'll see how that goes. I just need Darcy or Summer to be lurking about so he doesn't try anything. Like try to kiss me. God, that was so awkward it makes me feel awkward to just think about it. Like...god. Weirdo awkwardness. Darcy said that if I was too drunk to, you know, tell people to leave, that she would do it. What a good friend! I am a drunk and that's okay with me.

Oh my sweet Jesus

I am on the phone with Trogdor and it is the MOST PAINFUL THING EVER. He's just like, annoying me. He keeps on telling me that I'm "so cool" no matter what I say. I think I'm just annoyed with him because I really don't care anymore. I'm a bad person and I don't know what to do about it.

That was the most annoyed I've been all day long.

Lots of thinking

I had a weird weekend (see below) and I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know this is the second time I've decided this, but I'm sticking with it, I think. I really am over Trogdor. That sounds bad, after dropping Ryan like I did for Trogdor. But the fact is that Trogdor, although appealing in many ways, just isn't in many other ways. I was listing the ways to Summer today:

1. He's duck footed. That's something that bothers me about ANYONE because I don't get it. It also really bothers Darcy and I think part of her botheredness rubbed off on me. I just want him to not be that way.

2. He sometimes doesn't get jokes people make. When we went to see my friends that are in a band play in NYC, I asked the drummer (Christian, LOVE HIM) if the bar we were going to had beer, cause if it didn't, I wasn't going. I was being silly. Christian said that this bar did not have beer, but something else (I don't remember what). Trogdor was like "why doesn't it have beer?" and I kind of laughed it off, but it was like, DUH DUDE

3. He has an annoying giggle. Don't even ask me to explain

4. He only owns 2 pairs of shoes and one of the pairs he doesn't even lace correctly!

5. He's very zen, but sometimes very stupid

6. No short term memory. NONE. AT ALL. I have to explain things like 40 times over

7. When I went to his place last weekend and he kissed me. It was the most awful awkward kiss ever. As Carrie says about Berger in Sex and the City "he couldn't possibly think that was good...did he think that was good?" Maybe he thought it was good. It was not good. It was horribly awkward

8. The feeling my friend Reaper put in the back of my head that there has to be something seriously SERIOUSLY wrong with him if he's looking for the ladiez online. I can't shake that thought at all. Then I wonder if he's a virgin and I am like "OH NO, NOT THAT" and yeah...

Maybe I am being too picky. But at the same time, I think I can be picky. I'm not saying that I'm looking for someone to marry, but I am looking for someone that gets it and gets me and although he does, there's things that bother me. I'm coming off as a bad person because this is #2 that I've done that to, but you know...I think I just need to get over myself. Trogdor gets me and that was part of my interest in him in the first place, but as I dug deeper into who he was...I realized more things. I don't want to have this conversation with him, but I know I have to. I still have to think about what I want to say and more importantly, when I want to say it. I just have to keep him interested but still not make out with him. YES, IT WAS THAT BAD. Think of it like this. You know when you first kiss someone, and it's that sweet soft little kiss where you are just feeling shit out? After that, you know enough to not kiss like that again. Fun fact: he didn't. He kept on doing that. I think I was annoyed at that point.

After my encounter this weekend with Nacho Libre (that's what Darcy and I decided to call him), I think part of that "whooo...someone is looking at me in the sexy way" thing is over. I mean, I must have been amazing enough or drunk enough for Nacho Libre to think it was more fun to talk to me. It's not that Nacho Libre is super hot, he's cute though. And he's one of those guys...you know what I mean? He is very charming. He could charm the pants off of anyone. Or just me. It's a total power trip for a girl like me without much self esteem to be able to get a guy like that look at her in THAT way. It could have been my bra or it could have been my low cut shirt. I can honestly say that I got something from Nacho that I really needed and he doesn't get how important that was and all he did was exist. I am not going to tell him that information, cause that would just be creepy. The more I thought about it today, the more I realize that I have no idea what I said or did that would make him be like "okay, we're leaving the bar now" but I'm assuming it was something good. I really wasn't that drunk, but I was sorta drunk and then I was out late and then only slept for like, 5 hours, so everything is in this mist of was it a dream or did I actually say/do those things? And on another note, if my performance was as lackluster as Nacho's was, I would be really looking for another chance to make it up to that person. Summer seems to think that Nacho is the sort of person that really won't care and she may have something there. I don't really care cause it was fun, but I would have liked to have more fun. Odds are we'll meet up again. We're friends on myspace, so we're like, pratically married.

I am totally married to this man though.

Updating, sorta

So, I know I've been bad and lazy about updating. I just have been busy with things in my life and haven't had time to go online and fuck around with people's heads. It seems hard to believe, but I tell you now, it's true.

I hung out with Trogdor again. I'm really not sure where I stand with him. He's a really nice person and kind of cute and just a good guy. I can't shake the feeling that there's some HUGE underlying reason that he's single and looking for the ladiez on the internets. I shouldn't talk, but still. Does anyone know what I mean? It's a thought that plagues my brain a lot when I have downtime at work. He's going to go out with me and some friends next weekend. We're going to a bar to see this band play. I told him to come and to bring some of his friends and it should be a good time. I expect to be shitty ass drunk, so really...where's the down side? I told him that one of the creepy guys from below (the one that doesn't know English cause he's a fucking MORON) sometimes goes to the bar that we are going to see the band at. The guy from below (from now on, I'm calling him Butt Ugly. That's what he is) really isn't a threat, but you know, he might try to talk to me if we're at the bar. So I was saying that to Trogdor and he said that he would protect me from this guy. Not that I'm rooting for Butt Ugly or anything, but if it came down to some form of fight between Butt Ugly and Trogdor...Butt Ugly would totally win. Trogdor just isn't that threatening.

Regardless, I got a little annoyed. What is it with every guy and wanting to save me or protect me? I don't need to be saved. If it's late at night and I'm camping, yes, I need to be protected. If I'm in a bar with my girls, I don't need anyone trying to save me. I can save myself. I get really annoyed when guys try to insert themselves into situations that don't exist for the sole reason of being manly. I'm guessing this guy won't even be there. I don't need Trogdor to fill that role in my life. As one of my male friends pointed out, I totally killed his idea of being my knight in shining armor, but I don’t much care. I don’t want to be around anyone that feels they have to save me. When I need help, I’ll tell someone. How annoying!

That’s about all there is to say about what’s going on. I don’t know whether to expect Ryan to be at the bar too. I did just kind of drop him. It amused me. He knows the name of the band that we want to see and I’m sure he could figure out when they were playing again. Only time will tell. If I’m lucky, I’ll be too drunk to remember any part of that night.

Thoughts

What makes people go from "friends" to dating? Do we know? Like, I was thinking about it...and when I was in college, it just was that you were sleeping with the other person and even then, you could still just be friends. Since I'm clearly still a child, I have no idea what will make me cross the border from "friend" to "special friend" when it comes to Trogdor. Or if it will even happen. I suppose I could see it happening, but I've said it before and I'm going to say it again: I'm not going to force it. I am just riding the wave and seeing where it takes me. It could take me nowhere or it could take me to some place that I really want to be. I can tell you plenty of places that I don't want it to take me. At the same time, I'm thinking I may just stick on POF for the pure entertainment value of the entire thing. I don't know yet, I haven't made up my mind, but that thought has been floating around in there.

Lilo asked if there was some sort of ceremony that we would go through, on the 3rd moon of the month where we held hands and turned the key in the door of togetherness and I would wear daisies in my hair (or something to that effect). I laughed and told her that I didn't know...cause I don't. Maybe that's what you do to make a relationship stick. I just don't know!

Yesterday, I told Lilo that Trogdor was making me dinner (cause he is. I'm shocked) and today she asked me what day was my "Magical Daisy Dinner of Togetherness". It's Saturday. I am having a giggle-fest over here while I think about boys making me dinner. I am that sad.

Paper boyfriends

Summer told me I should blog about this stuff I've been bitching about. But first, I must say that I met Trogdor. He did not burninate anything. Actually, he's pretty okay. But my fear was that he would be like the hipster and be a paper boyfriend. What's a paper boyfriend you ask? Well, it's a guy that looks so much better on paper than he does in real life. And it's not just that he's hotter in a picture than he is in person. Of course, with the hipster, that totally was the case. But I digress. On paper (or on the computer screen), he comes off as being totally charming and smart and full of qualities that you would want another person to have. You become smitten with this idea of some person because you think they have all the things you want. It's a total disappointment when you realize that whoever you have made this person out to be falls so short of want you want. I think part of it comes from the fact that when you're online, seperated by a computer screen, you can be whatever you want. Thus, the problem with online dating. At the same time, this could also happen with actual people you meet. Just an idea I'm throwing out there.

I thought that Trogdor, being so witty and funny when I've talked to him would totally fail to be that same person in person last night. He actually didn't. He isn't starting out to be a paper boyfriend. He's so much cooler than Ryan. He can carry on a conversation and generally entertain me. We all know how important that is. Also, I have so much more in common with Trogdor than with Ryan. So that's another point for Trogdor. Now it comes down to breaking this to Ryan. Ryan emails me a lot though and he hasn't done that much in the past 2 days. Maybe he was busy, I don't know. He keeps on asking me to come over or to go out to lunch or something like that. And since I'm starting to think that he's not for me, I'm just not finding time to do those things. I think he wanted to go out last night but I told him that I was going out with the girls (not entirely a lie). He wanted to do lunch today, but I had plans. The point is that if I really actually liked him, I would make time. I'm not making time. For a while, I thought that if I just stopped having time that he would stop asking. Maybe it is working out that way. I'm not lying all the time, I've been really busy for most of the month of March. Ryan wants to hang out on week nights, which kill me. I've been trying to get back to the gym, so I like to do that at night, not drive 45 minutes to another planet to just do nothing.

I guess I just have a lot of thinking to do tonight about how to tell someone I really just don't care anymore. Also, to think about what the hell to say to Trogdor. I can tell I will be having fun!

Sorry Readers!

I haven't had much to say lately. Maybe the creeps are starting to be less creepy? Really, who knows?! I'm sure something will pop up soon that will make us all laugh. I've just been talking to the same people most of the time. Trogdor is really great to talk to and whenever I talk of him, I sing the Trogdor Song. Ryan is getting a little annoying because he always wants me to come over to his house on the different planet. I am always busy lately, doing stuff and working and trying to go to the gym and he doesn't understand or something. At the rate he's going, I might never go out there again. He's bothering me

Conversation with Lilo...

Me: I'm talking to Trogdor!
Lilo: is he burninating anything?
Me: Not yet
Lilo: You just watch out for your thatched roof cottage
Me:....you mean my va-jay-jay?

Note: My thatched roof cottage is not as big as this one