I can't make these people up

Match.com seems to think that this guy and I would mesh together really well. Match.com says "Meet nicksomething or other. Like you, he likes dogs. Like you, he's the oldest child. Like you, he enjoys a good sports game"

This is his about me section. I have not edited it in any way. FUCKING MAGIC

"im a nice sweet 22 year old guy who loves his family and his dog love the out doors camping fishing bike rides and love going for drives im looking for some one average but hot at the same time im not looking for a barbie doll cause i just dont think thats hot i would love to find some one who is looking for a long term relationship that like to go out and have fun but at the same time likes to stay home and watch a movie just as much some one who likes sex but knows its not the hole relation ship but still wants it as much as i do likes to be on a back of a bike and go for long bike rides likes to camp and not afraid to get dirty and understands that im a gear head also likes to hang out with her friends by her self cause guys need guy time as much as girls need girl time most of all i guess im just old school im looking for a soul mate someone to be with sexuly and be a best friend at the same time i guess you can say im just looking for love "

Not only is just about everything spelled wrong, there's no punctuation, and you know, one giant run-on sentence...BUT FUCKING ICK DUDE.

Oh boys...

Last night I had a sleep over with Achilles. It was great fun. We went out to some super tasty Japanese place for dinner (where he mocked me for not being able to use chopsticks and then MADE me eat sushi) and back to his place. We watched The Dark Knight so I could drool over Christian Bale. He's so hot.

Achilles was all dressed up for his company's Christmas party - he was in a suit. He looked...really good. I felt like I was totally underdressed (not for the place that we were eating, but being with him) but he kept on telling me how great I looked and how nice my sweater was and how lovely I was. He's great like that. This morning as I was stretching and rolling around in his bed because I'm a jerk, he told me how much he liked my body. I freaked. I mean, how could I not? I don't expect him or ANYONE to say that. But there I was, all deer in headlights about it. He knows that I don't have any idea how to handle him being so sweet to me. He knows that these compliments blow my mind. And they seriously do. But he's so consistant with his feelings towards me (he really likes me. He told me so!) that I am starting to believe them. Yesterday he was telling me that he liked me because he could relax around me. He liked that I put him at ease. I don't know what it is that I do that makes him feel that way - but I don't really care. I like that he feels that way about being around me. When I'm with him, I feel like I can be off. Somedays, being funny and making everyone laugh and saying clever things is just...it's really tiring. But I do it because that's what is expected of me. When I'm with him, I know that I don't have to have the quickest answer. I know I don't have to try to make him laugh - mostly because I just do it without thinking. It's a very comfortable...whatever it is that we have. I like dating him because I don't have to try to impress him or make myself out to be something that I'm not. He thinks that it's cute that I suck at being really super girly but yet love bags and shoes. He says things to me just to make me smile. Being around him, feeling good - it's effortless. That's scary and awesome all at once. I mean, I can feel how I could really lose my shit over this guy. But unlike past relationships, I feel like I'm in control. I feel like I can hold myself together and not say how much I care until it's right. If we even get to that point, which I seriously hope that we will.

When we got back to his house last night, he took off his suit and I was lying on his bed and he crawled in next to me and pulled me close to him and we just...laid there. For a while. We didn't say anything, we didn't do anything - we just were there. He then sighed and kissed my head and told me that he had a really bad week, but me snuggling up next to him made it all so much better. He wanted to be snuggled, he wanted to have me near him. And just the fact that that simple fucking thing would make things better really shocked me. And made me feel great. He's being honest with me when he says things like that. I know it. I'm turning into gross relationship girl. I really love being around him. I like that me makes me laugh and makes me smile and tells me that I'm pretty and lovely and wonderful and fabulous and so many other things. I like that I don't have to explain things to him. I like that he gets me. I like that he's a little left of center. I like that he willingly tells me everything he likes about me...

me: {on being smacked and sent to bed} i think you can make it
besides, even if i'm not nice now, i'm always terribly sweet to make up for it
Achilles: this is true
me: i know
it's cause i like you
Achilles: i still wonder why, but ok
me: see, i could tell you why
i'm not an information withholder
Achilles: oh i CAN tell you
but i choose not to
gotta keep you workin for it
me: i shouldn't have to work for it, you should just tell me
Achilles:: lol
me: but i suppose that takes all the fun out of it for you
Achilles: i will give you a couple
1. you laugh at my jokes
2. you never shy away from me saying clowntits
3. you have a nice rack
me: good to know that's in the top 5
i guess that's super important? lol
Achilles: oh very
me: you're only giving me 3?
Achilles: for the moment
ok, 1 more
4. youre sweet in spite of yourself
me: i think you should give me 5
because that's a logical number
Achilles: 5. your pocket tastes like tangerines
me: that's just an out and out lie
Achilles: ok ok
5. youre an awesome snuggler

He tells me that I'm so sweet and nice and wonderful to him and I'm not doing anything. Seriously. I'm just..there. It's blowing my mind. I know this isn't my usual snarky self (don't worry, it's coming soon) but god. So cute. I can't take it.

Conversation with the Brewmaster

Me: when are your real tests?
Brewmaster: first one is thursday
Me: you' re going to spank it and make it your bitch
Brewmaster: thats right. those tests are in for some hard loving.
Me: that sounds like something achilles would say
he came over on friday night and i was walking into my house and he was behind me and then he's like mumbling "oh yeah baby, i would make sweet sweet love to you right now"
and i turn around to be like, WTF?
and he's humping the washing machine
Brewmaster: hahahaha
Me: it was a magical moment
Brewmaster: that is wonderful
Me: he does shit like that all the time and it amuses me to no end. he made up a song called "i'll be your personal dildo" and sings it in a high pitched voice
Brewmaster: hahahah
he's a keeper carrie
he has charmed my heart with his creative vulgarity

Super Massive Overshare....

…..Which is not to be confused with supermassive black hole, which would be the song that played while all the Cullens played baseball. That’s right, I saw Twilight. I’ll admit it. And Edward Cullen? Absolutely sexy for no good reason. Oh dear do I want him for all the wrong reasons. Him or James. James was HOTTTTTTTTT.

But this post is not about Twilight (but it could be). But it won’t be. Post is about..the drought. Being over. Oh yes, the year and a half or so without…is over. Whoo! I got some! Whoo!!! It’s an overshare of large proportions, but I had to share. How could I not? And there are so many things I could say about the large proportions thing..and Achilles. I won't. But know that there could be a relationship between the two. HINT.

Achilles made it happen. I mean, we both knew it was going to happen and whatever. That’s fine. So on Friday, I had the house to myself. My parents and brother were out seeing Tim McGraw and I was alone (yes, I still live at home. It’s not because I want to, it’s because I’m DEAD ASS BROKE). I told Achilles he HAD to come over because, hello, it was an acceptable time to come to my house. No one else was around. He didn’t have to be exposed to all the crazy. I had an minor meltdown on Friday (but I recovered, mostly) and during the day, one of my coworkers bought me ice cream. Because he is AWESOME. I was telling Achilles about how that ice cream made my day better. Achilles one upped him. He came over, with HALF BAKED ice cream…and condoms. It was sexy. He goes “I brought you presents!” and I danced around the kitchen. I was so excited about the ice cream, I didn’t notice anything else in the bag. He told me to look again and huzzah, protected sex would be had! I told him the lady at CVS must have known that he meant business, what with serious ice cream and serious condoms. We both had a good laugh. He is wonderous. Friday was pretty excellent, I tried to get him to stay with me because it was fucking cold in my house and sometimes, when I’m home by myself, I get all nervous pervous about things that don’t exist. He didn’t spend the night with me though. I do have a tiny bed and we both would have slept like shit. His bed though? Totally awesome and comfortable. I want to stay there.

I made pie with Lilo on Saturday because we are amazing bakemastery all-stars. I was texting Achilles, telling him to be jealous of my pie. Which turned into a totally inappropriate conversation about my pie. How could it not? Yesterday, I brought him some maple pecan pie because he asked so nicely for it. We sat in his bed, all snuggled up, eating pie. It was great – it was cold and snowy outside, we were all snuggled and gross and adorable inside – it was just what I needed.

Achilles really makes me feel good about myself. So in a previous post where I said that I would have to take massive xanax or be so shitty drunk to take off my clothes – that wasn’t my reality. I just…I did it. I didn’t freak out (much) about being nakeeeeeeed in front of him. He makes me feel like I’m just…wonderful. I know that’s the way it’s SUPPOSED to be, that’s how good relationships work. But that’s really never been the way that relationships work for me. Achilles is a totally different experience than I know what to do with. But Achilles still has enough jerk in him to make me like him. If he was nice all the time, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. He’s still funny and makes me smile. And he’s been determined to stick his finger in my nose. I’m not sure why, exactly, but it’s okay. I don’t mind. I like that I can be like that with him and it’s okay.

I also think my parents are starting to suspect that I’m up to something. I’m telling them that I am going other places or going out with other people when I go out with Achilles. I just don’t know how to tell them exactly what I’m up to. It has nothing to do with who Achilles is. I adore him and I really do want to share him with the people that care about me. But I know that they don’t know how to act. They will tweak that he’s 9 years older than me. I don’t ever really notice that he is. We’re very much alike and I just don’t ever really see the difference between us. They would totally fly off the handle when/if they found out how I met him. And that’s the dumbest part. I’ve posted about it before, but so many girls, girls that are way prettier and more awesome than I am, are finding guys on Match.com. That’s just what happens when you get tired of meeting guys in bars, not working with any men and having lots of married friends (sorry Summer and Lilo). I know many people that have done it and it’s no reason to hide it. But because my family is fucking BATSHIT insane, there’s nothing I can do. I was telling Achilles this yesterday because he told me that I just should tell them what’s up. I’m thinking it might be best to just spring it on them. They won’t have time to react, they won’t have time to think and I’ll make them see that he’s really lovely and fabulous.

Blogging Future,,?

With Achilles now in the picture…where does that leave this blog? Summer thinks that I should still continue to write in it, although without trying to find a guy to date through Match, it kind of has no point. I guess I can post about awkward relationship moments, but still.

Speaking of Match, I cancelled my subscription. Is that putting too much stock in Achilles? I really don’t know. I hope not. I think that he’s wonderful and fabulous and I just really like being around him. I feel comfortable and he’s nice and sweet to me and tells me CONSTANTLY how wonderous I am. He tells me about my apparently soft girl skin and my lovely girl smell and how he likes snuggling with me. I haven’t heard anything like that from anyone in a long long time. Am I totally head over heels for the compliments? I don’t think so. I think I can look at Achilles and know that he just likes me.

I saw him 4 times in the past week. Granted, neither of us worked on Thursday and Friday, which left Wednesday night for some fun and Friday night and yesterday. And our idea of fun…is snuggling. Yesterday it was shitty and rainy and gross outside. I had just about had it with my brother (which is another story for another day) and I needed to get out of the house. If Achilles hadn’t called, I would have just gone to see Darcy. But he called and I sounded so defeated on the phone that he told me I should come over because his bed was warm and snuggles were to be had. So I did. I got to his place, dragged myself up the stairs to his apartment, kicked off my shoes and fell into his bed. And that was my afternoon. We both had places to be around 7, so there wasn’t that much snuggly time, but we both just wanted to lie there and order in and do nothing.

I don’t know what I means that we both can just lie there, all snuggly and not need much else to amuse us. I mean, the TV was on, but neither of us was watching it. He was rubbing my back and I was burrowed into his side. Does it make me some kind of snuggle whore that I can just snuggle up next to him without you know, being super serious about him? I don’t think so. We snuggle and it’s adorable. He smells my hair and kisses the end of my nose. It’s something that I haven’t experienced with any guy before. No other guy I’ve dated wanted to snuggle. Snuggling was totally out. But Achilles…he does.

He told me something that was just...I don't know the, cutest thing ever. I know last night I was talking about being broken (my knees are all screwed up, my back bothers me, I can't see for shit...pretty much, I have the body of an 80 year old) and I was saying that I needed a new self. He was telling me that no, my self was great and he liked it just the way that I was.

As we were talking on the phone late last night, he was telling me that he wished I was there because we could be snuggled up. And I wanted that too. I'm snuggle girl. Oh my goodness.

Reaper told me it would take me a while to shed my gross cynicalness about being without a relationship for so long. I guess I have?

Last night...

I went over to Achilles' house last night. He wanted to hang out and I said "SURE!" because more than anything, I wanted to snuggle. And snuggle we did. He is a professional snuggler. I kind of love it.

I didn't get to his house until like, 9:30 or so. I had just gone to the gym and my thighs were killing me. I was so broken. So I collapsed on his bed and was like "gah, my legs, they are the broken" and he rubbed them for me. Which sounds bad, but I swear, it wasn't like that. He then told me that he feels bad for my body being so broken all the time. I'm okay with it.

The last time I saw him, he kept on telling me how I was pretty and cute and how everything I did was adorable (including dancing around his kitchen) and I dared him to come up with something that I did that wasn't adorable. Well, apparently, I make this face. I make said face whenever he says something slightly sexual (perhaps he says "I'll stuff your turkey" or something). He told me this face, while made in a sexy moment...WAS NOT SEXY. So guess what I kept on making last night? Oh yes, that face. I would make the face, go "THAT WAS THE FACE!" and then bury my head in a pillow. He would laugh and laugh and tell me that he felt bad for telling me that something I did wasn't adorable. It was cute.

I told him that I couldn't stay and that I would have to leave and go home to sleep in my own bed at my own house. He made the most excellent point that I was there, at his house, and it was warm and I was snuggly. Oh damn you. But I got up and get on my shoes and so on and went outside into the cold, even though I didn't like it. But as I'm going to get up to get my stuff, he kept on pulling me back and pulling me closer to him, telling me not to leave but to stay because it would be so much better if I did (I know that) and we could have so much fun (more fun than we already had? I don't think so) and that he likes me and wants me around. Adorable. He's so sweet and nice and lovely and seriously....I really really really like him.

I put on my emo glasses (I had taken out my contacts because my eyes were soooo dry) and he tells me how pretty I am. I'm blowing hair out of my face and he tells me how pretty I am. I'm telling him not to poke my chub, because seriously....I hate that. He insists that I'm not fat, I don't have chub and that I'm fantastic just the way that I am. Again, I have no idea how to handle someone just being nice to me to be nice to me. He kisses my hair! He rubs my shoulders! He kisses all my fingertips and then the palm of my hand (I haven't figured that out yet, but god, it's sweet) and I just...whoa. You guys. Whoa.

I was j/k on that last one

So...Achilles doesn't hate me. And neither does life. Just in case you wanted to know. I ended up going up to Lilo and Stitch's place. I went out to buy some yarn for Lilo (I'm making her a scarf for Christmas) and then we were hanging out and eating pizza and playing rockband. Huzzah. I texted Achilles to tell him that something he said made Lilo almost fall out of her chair. He texts me back that he's bored...where am I? And a half hour later, he's at Lilo and Stitch's place playing rockband and totally having a blasty blast. We also watched Hot Fuzz because he hadn't seen it and that's just unacceptable. I was thrilled that he could meet Lilo and Stitch. I haven't heard their opinions on him, but we will have to see. I don't see how they couldn't like him...he's a very likable guy. And I have to give it to him, he willingly throws himself in situations that are very much sink or fucking swim and he always makes it out. He had no idea how to play rockband (lame) and he didn't know my friends, but he did it well. W00t!

As we were leaving on Saturday night, I asked him if he still wanted to see me on Sunday, considering he saw me then. He told me that he didn't get enough of me tonight (gag) and that of course I should come over on Sunday. He was making me dinner, damnit.

Which brings us to Sunday. I went over to his place, we were watching dog agility trials (omg, how did we get so cool) all snuggled up warm, which was excellent. Yesterday was a little chilly, so to be all warm and cozy was excellent. Then he made me chicken fajitas (nom nom nom nom) and they were super good. As we're cleaning up the kitchen (and he's talking trash about his roommate that he doesn't like), I'm eating guacamole. There was some left on the spoon and he was mocking me, so I maybe fed him a mouthful of guacamole. After he stopped laughing, he told me that wasn't very ladylike. I told him that having a pocket does not make you a lady. Because let's face facts, I have a pocket and I'm so not a lady in anyway. This also made him laugh.

We then started watching Reno! 911 the movie because he hadn't seen that either. Again, I say...UNACCEPTABLE. God, there are so many things that I have to fix! We were joking around and being all snuggly. I told him about I thought I was going to have to take a xanax before I can lose all my clothes in front of him. He laughed and told me that I was pretty and had nothing to worry about. Gag. It's really great to have someone that makes you feel like that. I kind of totally missed that. A lot. A whole lot.

It's weird with him. And by weird, I mean totally and completely normal. I was talking to Darcy today and I told her that with every guy before Achilles, I had to like, fight to be acknowledged and cajole people to say that I was pretty or they liked being around me. Achilles just says this stuff freely. And I think whenever he tells me something nice about me, I look at him funny. I don't know how to react to something that I don't have to struggle for. The Brewmaster brought up the fact that I hate guys that are weak and spineless. I don't see this as him being spineless. I know he's not. But I like just...not having to try, you know? I like just being liked because I'm around and I exist and I have things about me that make me likable.

Which of course, brings me to another point of my panicking, which is at what point does he stop liking me? Does he stop once I sleep with him? Does he stop because he doesn't think I'm pretty anymore? OR....should I just fucking stop thinking about this shit and live in the moment and enjoy that this is my life.

Oh, I know!

I should enjoy that this is my life. So I am. Life, thanks for working out for me. I can't believe I ever doubted you.

w00t!

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. And what do you think happens? Oh, that's right, I was terribly horribly sick with some death flu the night before. Seriously, I was sitting on the couch and all of the sudden I started to not feel good. I went upstairs to get into my bed and go to sleep. Achilles called and I was talking to him and telling him how miserable I felt and he told me I should just go and make myself puke. Sexy, I know. Then, after he said it, I had to puke. Like, HAD TO. So I just about hung up on him, considered sleeping on the floor of the bathroom, but somehow made it back up and called him back to tell him that yes, I was alive and feeling much better. HAHA. That's where I was wrong. Shortly after I got off the phone with him for the second time, I brought my blankets with me back to the bathroom so I could camp out in there. When I got back to my bed, I had the chills so bad, I couldn't sleep. I had on a t-shirt, a long sleeved shirt, boxers, PJ pants, socks AND all the blankets on my bed and an additional blanket and I was still shivering and unable to sleep. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep on Sunday night. Monday was super fun!

Actually, the new job is great and all the people are really nice and I very much like it. Also, I'm allowed to be on googlechat all day long, which means not much working gets done. Haha. Back to yesterday...he knew how shitty I was feeling and kept on telling me all day long that the day was almost over (it wasn't) and that I should take some advil or something to make me feel better (I did, but I only felt better for a little bit) and that everyone there was bound to love me because how could they not? (they did). He was so sweet and awesome to me even though I was being a cranky bitch. Gosh, I so like him. We also briefly touched on the fact that neither one of us likes playing games or saying one thing when we mean another. Good to know we're on the same page. I talked to him briefly today. I would imagine that he might call me later as he has a habit of calling on Tuesday nights. It's just kind of what he does. I don't know when we are going out again, but maybe I'll know soon.

And in case anyone wants to know, he did kiss me on Friday night. It was very sweet and totally adorable and I was all girly about it. Which is amazing, cause I'm not girly about anything. He also put his arm around my side at one point to pull me in closer to him because he didn't hear what I said and I jumped like someone prodded me with a hot iron. It wasn't because I didn't like it, I just didn't know to expect it. We both laughed. I didn't trip over anything either, which made Achilles sad because he was really hoping for that. Why? Because I trip over everything and it amuses everyone. He was hoping for that moment.

That's about all that's going on right now. I have good feelings about what's going on with this, so everyone keep their fingers crossed for me. I'm going to go upstairs and crash on the couch and continue to recover from my mystery death flu illness. I don't know where it came from, but I'm so tired of it!

This might be an overshare...

Dr. Lady pocket: Do you have a special guy in your life?
Me: No. I have a few unspecial ones though
Dr. Lady Pocket: Yes, that happens.

She also told me to not wait until I was 47 to get married because then there are "slim pickens"

Thanks Dr. Lady Pocket!