Totally giddy!

Achilles is back! He is! Actually, he came back on Monday night and I didn't see him until Wednesday night. While he was away, he told me he got me a few things. You see, I have this thing about lip products. I love them. Like, I LOVE them. I need to have lip balm or something around me at all times. I do. It's a problem. Achilles thinks it's hysterical when I can't function without it. So he bought me all sorts of lip products. I told him he was an enabler and he just laughed at me. I'm glad he knows the way to my heart - through moisturized lips.

Darcy's family always has a NYE party that's good fun, so he came over there. He finally met my brother J, which was really important to me. Achilles didn't know how much of a test that is, but it really says a lot about him. I knew that he would be great with J, but there's always a moment of doubt. I've dated guys that treated J like a moron or like he's 2 and he's not. He's 20 and very much an adult. But J seemed to like him and wanted to hang out with Achilles, so that's great. (J, by the way, is my brother. He's autistic and he means a lot to me. He's kind of high functioning - but he's a spaz sometmies. I love him dearly...and sometimes just want him to go away).

But since Achilles was at Darcy's...it meant that I had someone to kiss at midnight. Is that lame? You know it! It was great to have him there, regardless of how lame it is that it mattered. I felt it was a good way to start 2009.

Thursday night I slept over at Achilles place. We watched the Venture Brothers and had some pizza and snuggled and it was just fabulous to be back with him. He kept on telling me how much he missed me - how much he missed me smelling good and snuggling with him and being sweet to him and how much he just OUT AND OUT LIKES ME. WHICH IS LIKE A LOT. And I like him a lot. A lot a lot. It's scary how much I like him.

He came over this afternoon to just hang out (my parents are out of town) and do some laundry. That's right, I lured him over with Lego Batman and laundry. It worked. Also, I made him french toast and he really liked it. Or he faked liking it to make me feel good. We played some lego batman (he was Robin) and just...we just were. Then he told me that I'm his favorite bitch on this continent. Oh, I so win.

Today he brought up me meeting some of his friends - and I told him that of course I wanted to meet them. He's been hesistant, but not because of who I am, but because of who his friends are. I would get into more detail and even though I write under a pen-name - I'm not going to say why he thinks I can't handle his friends. It's not like they are in a gang or go around murdering people - but I'm just not. It's Achilles thing and I'm okay with that. I just want to meet his friends so they know that I'm a good person and that I care for him deeply.

I've been wondering a lot what I should do with this blog. I feel like I want to keep on writing here, but at the same time, I don't want Achilles to find it. I don't think he will, because even though I talk about blogging (as in "oh, I blogged today about Quagmire") he never asks to read it or see the address or anything. But I don't want to keep on playing with fire. So do I move somewhere else and just be honest and up front with things between Achilles and I? Or do I just stop blogging all together? I really don't know what to do and I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm still thinking though.

Thanks Ben Gibbard!

A few weeks ago, I went to go and see Death Cab for Cutie play. They were amazing. Totally the best show I've ever seen. That's not the point. DCfC has a lot of songs about love. Ben was asking the crowd (you know, because he can so hear an answer) about how many people were in love. A bunch of people cheered. My Aunt and I glared at them. Ben went on to say that many people think that spring is the time to fall in love, what with everything blooming and coming to life. He disagrees. He feels that you should all fall in love in the fall time. Why? Because otherwise you'll be cold and freeze your ass off. Taking Ben's advice, I shall find someone to snuggle up with this fall because I was SO FUCKING COLD LAST NIGHT and it was not acceptable.

Achilles (new name for Pie Guy, let's all try to keep up, okay?) cancelled on me tonight. He's not feeling well and that's okay. We all get sick and we move on. I told him to pick another night for dinner and a "shove". Why did I put shove in quotation marks? I have no fucking idea. I didn't really think that part out. I just wanted to amuse myself at work and make my day slightly better. So that's how you get "shove".

(Backstory on shove - in my family, when someone says or does something that you don't like, you can give them a shove. You can say "I'm giving you a shove" and then shove them or you can ask someone to give someone else a shove, ie "Kim, please give my mom a shove for that comment". I explained this shoving concept to Achilles and he thought it was great. So I told him I would be shoving him).

Converation that followed the "shove"
Him: Wait. Since you put "shove" in quotes, are you implying something besides actual shoving?
Me: What do you think it means?
Him: If it involves a spider monkey and a bottle of thousand island dressing, I'm out
Me: Why would it involve thousand island? It's balsalmic all the way
Him: Too acidic....creamy italian and we got a deal
Me: Fine..but I get to pick a brand.

Again, I had no idea where I was going with this, but I was going there. I didn't know what he was thinking that I was meaning. So we're all confused and we all can be happy with that knowledge

the times - they are changing

So, big news – I met a guy from Match and he’s not totally a freak. I haven’t come up with a name yet for him. I’ve been telling Darcy that he’s pretty Fab. Not FABULOUS, but just fab. Cause he is. I’ve just enlisted Summer to help me come up with a name for him. I really have no idea what to call him. We went and had pie yesterday. We sat in the diner for 2 hours, laughing and having a really great time. And then he showed me his knob…IN HIS CAR. Perverts. I didn’t see that knob. Then we were joking about him showing me his knob on the first date and so on. I’ve never had so much fun doing relatively nothing with a guy I just met. We’re getting dinner one night this week, so that’s excellent. I enjoy his company and I enjoy him. So…good.

In other totally unrelated news – I just got a new job! That should have nothing to do with the dating scene but it does. My job now makes me all sorts of miserable. My new job will make me less miserable (at least that’s what SHOULD happen) and that will change the way I see things. I was telling the pie guy about it. It’s just such a shock because I’ve been thinking about getting a new job and going on interviews and getting nowhere and being so crestfallen about the entire thing and all of the sudden things changed. I was talking to the pie guy on Thursday night (after my interview) and I told him that I didn’t think that I would be getting this job and that I would likely be staying at this miserable place for a while. And low and behold – new job. New guy.

I am having the best week ever.

No joke.

There’s really not much that could make this week better.

Oh wait, yes there is. I’ve lost damn near 25 pounds. This weekend was the first time that anyone in my extended family had seen me in a while and everyone kept on telling me how great I looked. No one has really been saying that. I mean, I know I’ve been losing weight, none of my clothes fit and so on. But that’s the first time that anyone actually acknowledged that I’m a little bit thinner. I’m going to keep on going and keep on losing weight because I can. Because I’m having the best week ever. I’m losing weight and getting a new job and finding new exciting people. So nothing in that chain of awesomeness better break. I would be a little sad. But I’ll dust myself off, pick myself back up and keep on going. As Meatloaf said – 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

Now it’s time to get back to a job that I only have 9 more days of! 9 more! I gave my two weeks this morning. It’s really hard to make myself work. But I have to do it. C’mon self, do your work

Things I've realized

- I’ve realized that I can be picky with what sorts of guys I talk to and what sorts of guys I kiss. I didn’t know that for a while, but now I get it. Otherwise, I would still be all wrapped up in the first guy that I met. I think that was Footweiner McLovin’, but I could be wrong

- I’m cute. It took me a long time to get here, but if some guy sees a picture of me with my fascinating bio and wants to talk to me, I gotta have something going for me

- My hair is awesome. End of story.

- I don’t have to settle. I don’t. There are things that I will compromise on, but I don’t have to accept what comes my way. I can kick boys to the curb whenever I want

- I can take boys home from bars. No need to do that anymore. Unless he’s really hot. Then it’s okay.

- I don’t NEED a guy in my life. I’ve been single for over a year now and it’s kind of fun. Granted, when everyone I know is getting married or is engaged or is in some form of functional relationship, it’s a bummer. But I’ll find someone.

- There are so many fucking creeps on the internets. I already knew this, but this online dating thing has proven it. I don’t talk about sex to people I really don’t know. I’ll talk about sex to my friends, whether they are people that I’ve known for years or just some online friends I have. I really don’t mind. But if you’re some weird man on the net, I’m not going to tell you I like it in the butt (mostly cause I don’t. That’s an overshare, sorry)

- I finally have my life in some sort of order now, so I can truly be with someone and not have it take over my life. I hope. We’ll see, I suppose

- I’m not one of those girls that can wake up every day and throw on makeup and wear heels and exist as a total girly girl. For a while, I would attempt to do that. Now if I meet a guy, I’ll put on some makeup, sure. But if we’re doing something not makeup worthy, I’ll be in jeans and a t-shirt. That’s the way I am normally. I’m done changing myself to make someone else happy. My happiness matters more than some douchebag guy’s happiness.

- Guys either get my family and become accepted by them or they don’t. My family, however much I don’t like it sometimes, is a part of my life. There are lots of family members to impress. You need to make all of them like you, not just some of them.

- I’m fucking awesome. I’m so awesome. I don’t need a guy to tell me that cause I’ve figured it out myself. And if a guy decides he doesn’t like me, it’s his loss. It’s no fault of mine that he can’t figure out how fucking amazing and generally perfect I am. He can shove it.

Changing ships

Okay, I've done something. I joined match.com in an effort to not find freaks. And guess what! Some of the POF freaks are on match.com. They are following me. That's not okay in any way. I will deal though.

Other than that tidbit of information, absolutely nothing has been happening on the guy front, other than ignoring Trogdor, as I know that I shouldn't. I should just tell him. I SHOULD. I'm not. I am a chicken. Or I don't like confrontation. One or the other.

In a not dating related note, I can't get one of my exboyfriends, a very bad boyfriend indeed, out of my head. He's in there, eating my brainmeats. I haven't talked to him in months and moreover, I know I SHOULDN'T talk to him. But he's lurking around my brain, making me think that he's a good idea. I don't think it's because of his winning personality, but more because of the sex. I admitted it. It's the real reason.

Things I need

Since it's kind of a slow day at work, I decided to make a list of all the things that I don't want in a guy and things that are okay. I'm that bored. Please add if you feel the need.

I'm going to come off badly at this point, but really...I think everyone knows what kind of person I am. I'm not normally a bitch, but there are just some things I really won't compromise on.

- Cannot play World of Warcraft. No. No. That's not happening again. Video games are fine, as long as they don't take over your life.
- Can't have any sort of subtance abuse problem (I could maybe be seen as having a drinking problem, but it's only on the weekends. And with my friends. So not really a problem)
- Needs to have their shit in order. I don't need to be anyone's mom. Seriously.
- Needs to have a college degree - seems snotty to say, but my dad doesn't have one and it causes a lot of fights between my parents. Not cool.
- Not a lot of emotional baggage. I don't need to be compared to dead girlfriends or something. Or your baby's momma.
- Needs to be mostly literate. Or at least know what a book is. Or know words that have more than 5 letters
- Needs to get the somewhat weird references I make sometimes. So, that probably boils down to being in tune with pop culture.
- No freaky ass tattoos. That's just weird
- Liking sports is okay. Telling me that I can't talk when the game is on and to "get me another beer" is not okay.
- Needs to have read Harry Potter. Do I have to explain any further?
- Needs to get music. Or at least listen to music. Or know what music is. And also be able to name a band/singer/group/musical genre that they like.
- Let me have time with my girls. Don't try to stop it.
- Don't hold anything I may say when totally drunk against me. I don't know what I say, please don't remind me
- Needs to understand that I have some other boyfriends in my life: Sam Adams, Yuengling, Oliver, Vic Makey from The Shield...they will come first sometimes
- My BFF is a guy. I don't want him. I don't want to sleep with him. He will cut you if you hurt me
- Balls of steel - my family is bat shit insane. Need to be able to deal with that.
- Don't try to stick it in my butt. I know what's going on. That won't be.