Last night...

I went over to Achilles' house last night. He wanted to hang out and I said "SURE!" because more than anything, I wanted to snuggle. And snuggle we did. He is a professional snuggler. I kind of love it.

I didn't get to his house until like, 9:30 or so. I had just gone to the gym and my thighs were killing me. I was so broken. So I collapsed on his bed and was like "gah, my legs, they are the broken" and he rubbed them for me. Which sounds bad, but I swear, it wasn't like that. He then told me that he feels bad for my body being so broken all the time. I'm okay with it.

The last time I saw him, he kept on telling me how I was pretty and cute and how everything I did was adorable (including dancing around his kitchen) and I dared him to come up with something that I did that wasn't adorable. Well, apparently, I make this face. I make said face whenever he says something slightly sexual (perhaps he says "I'll stuff your turkey" or something). He told me this face, while made in a sexy moment...WAS NOT SEXY. So guess what I kept on making last night? Oh yes, that face. I would make the face, go "THAT WAS THE FACE!" and then bury my head in a pillow. He would laugh and laugh and tell me that he felt bad for telling me that something I did wasn't adorable. It was cute.

I told him that I couldn't stay and that I would have to leave and go home to sleep in my own bed at my own house. He made the most excellent point that I was there, at his house, and it was warm and I was snuggly. Oh damn you. But I got up and get on my shoes and so on and went outside into the cold, even though I didn't like it. But as I'm going to get up to get my stuff, he kept on pulling me back and pulling me closer to him, telling me not to leave but to stay because it would be so much better if I did (I know that) and we could have so much fun (more fun than we already had? I don't think so) and that he likes me and wants me around. Adorable. He's so sweet and nice and lovely and seriously....I really really really like him.

I put on my emo glasses (I had taken out my contacts because my eyes were soooo dry) and he tells me how pretty I am. I'm blowing hair out of my face and he tells me how pretty I am. I'm telling him not to poke my chub, because seriously....I hate that. He insists that I'm not fat, I don't have chub and that I'm fantastic just the way that I am. Again, I have no idea how to handle someone just being nice to me to be nice to me. He kisses my hair! He rubs my shoulders! He kisses all my fingertips and then the palm of my hand (I haven't figured that out yet, but god, it's sweet) and I just...whoa. You guys. Whoa.

This could be the best conversation ever

Chicken killer: did i tell u
Chicken killer: i told my pof stalker to f-- off
Darcy: Tell me? Oh!
Darcy: Well congratulations!
Chicken killer: she 18
Darcy: I'm sure that didn't go over well.
Chicken killer: she was like i love you
Chicken killer: i was you cant love me because you dont know me
Chicken killer: she was like fine your like the rest of the guys i speak too
Darcy: Hahahhaha!
Darcy: Well, good for you!
Chicken killer: i am sick of her iming me and being nude on cam
Chicken killer: women and men are weird
Chicken killer: no more stalker woo
Chicken killer: but now i am your stalker lol
Darcy: ?
Darcy: Does that mean I should tell you off?
Chicken killer: well your not mean so you cant
Chicken killer: i am joking
Chicken killer: your a good friend
Chicken killer: if i stalker you. you would send the baby goat after me
Darcy: You're right...I wouldn't do a very good job of yelling at someone...there wouldn't be any feeling behind it.
Darcy: Ha...forget the goat, I could do much more damage w/ my dog.
Darcy: She's a nut.
Chicken killer: i know
Chicken killer: ohh well
Chicken killer: maybe if she didnt live 4 hrs away i would be good
Darcy: Your stalker? I would think that's a good thing...then she can't somehow find you....
Chicken killer: i fouid out why your postive
Chicken killer: you have an optimstic look at things
Darcy: ?
Darcy: Well, yes.
Chicken killer: ya i am on your pof page
Chicken killer: lol i am stalking you
Darcy: Oh... yay?
Chicken killer: ya
Darcy: You couldn't figure out the optimism w/o reading it?
Chicken killer: honestly i dont know the word i was looking for
Darcy: Ah...
Chicken killer: i was like on tip of my tounge but i couldnt come out
Darcy: That happens.
Chicken killer: i think u like me a little
Chicken killer: no offence
Darcy: Oh? And how do you figure that?
Chicken killer: just a feeling i have
Darcy: Hmm...that's unfortunate....cause I don't like people having false hopes and getting hurt as a result...
Chicken killer: lol
Chicken killer: ok fine
Chicken killer: i like u
Darcy: Well, I had guessed as much...especially after you continuously stated it...
Chicken killer: lol
Chicken killer: i speak to you every day
Chicken killer: come on
Darcy: Hmm?
Chicken killer: your sweet and smart
Darcy: So? There's a lot of people like that out there....
Darcy: You just gotta sift some.
Darcy: or a lot...
Chicken killer: darcy
Chicken killer: stop it
Chicken killer: i know what your doing
Darcy: Oh?
Chicken killer: your fighting it
Darcy: Hahahah! I'm not fighting anything...I'm trying to stop you from doing something silly to yourself.
Chicken killer: but in life you have to take chances
Darcy: I know...but it's sad to watch someone take a leap knowing there's concrete below them...
Chicken killer: lol
Chicken killer: darcy i dont want to date you because i like what we have now
Darcy: Okay... As long as that is clear.
Darcy: Then that's fine.
Chicken killer: i mean like if we dated ok
Chicken killer: and i dump you because something
Chicken killer: i dont want see u hurt
Chicken killer: because you might be happy on the outside but on the inside your heart would be crush
Darcy: hahahahha!!!!!
Darcy: I'm sorry to laugh at that... I know it's a hypothetical situation...
Darcy: and I should be impressed that you would care that much...but I can only suspend disbelief so much...



That's a real pre-thanksgiving treat. Thanks Darcy! In other unrelated news...going to see Achilles tonight. Very Exciting!

I was j/k on that last one

So...Achilles doesn't hate me. And neither does life. Just in case you wanted to know. I ended up going up to Lilo and Stitch's place. I went out to buy some yarn for Lilo (I'm making her a scarf for Christmas) and then we were hanging out and eating pizza and playing rockband. Huzzah. I texted Achilles to tell him that something he said made Lilo almost fall out of her chair. He texts me back that he's bored...where am I? And a half hour later, he's at Lilo and Stitch's place playing rockband and totally having a blasty blast. We also watched Hot Fuzz because he hadn't seen it and that's just unacceptable. I was thrilled that he could meet Lilo and Stitch. I haven't heard their opinions on him, but we will have to see. I don't see how they couldn't like him...he's a very likable guy. And I have to give it to him, he willingly throws himself in situations that are very much sink or fucking swim and he always makes it out. He had no idea how to play rockband (lame) and he didn't know my friends, but he did it well. W00t!

As we were leaving on Saturday night, I asked him if he still wanted to see me on Sunday, considering he saw me then. He told me that he didn't get enough of me tonight (gag) and that of course I should come over on Sunday. He was making me dinner, damnit.

Which brings us to Sunday. I went over to his place, we were watching dog agility trials (omg, how did we get so cool) all snuggled up warm, which was excellent. Yesterday was a little chilly, so to be all warm and cozy was excellent. Then he made me chicken fajitas (nom nom nom nom) and they were super good. As we're cleaning up the kitchen (and he's talking trash about his roommate that he doesn't like), I'm eating guacamole. There was some left on the spoon and he was mocking me, so I maybe fed him a mouthful of guacamole. After he stopped laughing, he told me that wasn't very ladylike. I told him that having a pocket does not make you a lady. Because let's face facts, I have a pocket and I'm so not a lady in anyway. This also made him laugh.

We then started watching Reno! 911 the movie because he hadn't seen that either. Again, I say...UNACCEPTABLE. God, there are so many things that I have to fix! We were joking around and being all snuggly. I told him about I thought I was going to have to take a xanax before I can lose all my clothes in front of him. He laughed and told me that I was pretty and had nothing to worry about. Gag. It's really great to have someone that makes you feel like that. I kind of totally missed that. A lot. A whole lot.

It's weird with him. And by weird, I mean totally and completely normal. I was talking to Darcy today and I told her that with every guy before Achilles, I had to like, fight to be acknowledged and cajole people to say that I was pretty or they liked being around me. Achilles just says this stuff freely. And I think whenever he tells me something nice about me, I look at him funny. I don't know how to react to something that I don't have to struggle for. The Brewmaster brought up the fact that I hate guys that are weak and spineless. I don't see this as him being spineless. I know he's not. But I like just...not having to try, you know? I like just being liked because I'm around and I exist and I have things about me that make me likable.

Which of course, brings me to another point of my panicking, which is at what point does he stop liking me? Does he stop once I sleep with him? Does he stop because he doesn't think I'm pretty anymore? OR....should I just fucking stop thinking about this shit and live in the moment and enjoy that this is my life.

Oh, I know!

I should enjoy that this is my life. So I am. Life, thanks for working out for me. I can't believe I ever doubted you.

Because life hates me..

...I was supposed to see Achilles tonight and we were going to play Rockband with Lilo and Stitch. However, I came down the the black plague and warned him that I have a cold. He just got over a cold and passed on tonight (which is fine, I understand).

Instead, he sugguested that I go over to his house tomorrow night and he can make me dinner. I'll probably still be sick, but it should be great fun. And I'm not really even feeling sick, I just sound like crap. We'll see how it goes. I told him I wouldn't breathe on him and that I would stay out of his personal space. He told me that that would take all the fun out of the day.

I talked to him pretty much all day long on AIM yesterday. He is gross:
achilles: last weekend was so nutty i might just need some quiet time
me: hey, i didn't tell you to spend so much time with me on sunday
achilles: lol i know
achilles: but it was so hard to part with you
me: oh gross
me: that's adorable
achilles: well it was

The other thing I've been churning around in my brain is my actual relationship with him. We both said, in so many words, that we weren't seeing anyone else. So what does that make us? We've gone out like, half a dozen times. I have no idea how to handle this. I feel like I just fell into relationships in college and you just had to wait for the other person to change their facebook status to dating you and then, hey...new boyfriend! I'm trying this whole "let's be an adult" thing and I don't think it works the same way. Oh well. He's met some friends of mine randomly (like when we're out) and I just introduce him as Achilles. Haven't figured this shit out yet. Oh well, I have plenty of time to think it over....

Also...

Achilles nickname for me is "cupcake". That is digusting and adorable. I am so gross

Lilo, I loves you

Lilo: carrie, if you are home you have to tell me why you are smiling and glowing
me: i am home
me: it is true
Lilo: spill!
me: i am smiling and glowing becuase i had SUCH a fabulous time
me: seriously
Lilo: yyyyyyaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
me: he's wonderful. we went to the aquarium (they had penguins!) and saw some kid walk into a door
me: he took me out to dinner
Lilo: ha!
Lilo: oooh!
me: we spent 2 hours talking in his car
Lilo: talking, eh?
me: like, we met up at 11. i got home at like...8:30
me: mostly talking
me: sometimes..not talking
me: thus leading to glowing
Lilo: awwwwwwwwwwww
Lilo: yay!
me: seriously
me: he's lovely
Lilo: When I told Stitch where you guys were going, he was like, "Dude, they are not even going to get there. They are going to pull over and do it right there in the car," and I was like, "Jeez, Stitch, not everyone has sex within a week of meeting one another"
me: i'm so glad Stitch has so much faith in me
me: and no, we didn't have sex in the car
me: jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
Lilo: I'm so happy for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
me: and he was making it hard for me to be like "no, i think i should go home now"
Lilo: yay
me: he kept on telling me how pretty i looked
Lilo: i bet you did!
me: thanks
Lilo: awwww i'm all cuted out onw
me: he loves his car. like a lot. like...way too much. his car is named josie
Lilo: i hope josie didn't get jealous
me: and as we were driving back from mystic, i asked him if he had a good day
me: and he told me he spent it with his two favorite girls
me: so yes, he did
me: GAGGGGGGGGGG
Lilo: HA
me: it was so cute and vomit worthy

Whoa

I met up with Achilles at 11. I just got home now. He's...wow. I really really like him and he really really likes me and it's adorable and gross all at once. Seriously. I just walked in the house and I'm surprised that my parents didn't notice that I was GLOWING. Because I am. I so totally am. We had such a fun day and it was amazing. Holy shit guys. Holy shit

You guys...

My bounce rate on this site is really high. I'm a little insulted. Could you please stay on my blog for more than 2 seconds? I'm really funny, I swear.

Tomorrow I am going with Achilles to Mystic. I don't know what we are going to do (aquarium maybe?) but that's where we thought to go. Should be an interesting car ride, no? We can talk about all sorts of things.

But TONIGHT! I was going out to dinner with Darcy down in SoNo. I was texting Achilles and telling him about how I was having issues getting dressed (nothing I own fucking fits. I've been over this) and he asked me where I was going blah blah blah. He was going to be in SoNo doing something else. I told him that he should come by and say hi. Then I called Summer and told her that she should come to where Darcy and I were eating dinner because ACHILLES would be there. And that's how Achilles met about half my friends in one simple evening. He fit in really well and he's so much at ease around my friends. Which is good. They all seemed to like him and Summer's Husband only had one small compliant about him. Which really doesn't count. Summer gave him 2 thumbs up, Summer's Husband gave him a thumb up and a thumb down and Darcy gave him a thumb up and an undecided thumb. I feel good about this. I want them to like him because they like him and not fake like him like they have before. It went well, I think. I will have to get more info out of them as the time ticks on.

I should go to bed now so I can be well rested for my car ride with Achilles to do...something. I feel so special that I saw him tonight AND I will see him tomorrow. Fancy. I am so fancy.

And in upcoming posts...how do I break this to my family AKA stop putting the cart before the horse you stupid ass

w00t!

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. And what do you think happens? Oh, that's right, I was terribly horribly sick with some death flu the night before. Seriously, I was sitting on the couch and all of the sudden I started to not feel good. I went upstairs to get into my bed and go to sleep. Achilles called and I was talking to him and telling him how miserable I felt and he told me I should just go and make myself puke. Sexy, I know. Then, after he said it, I had to puke. Like, HAD TO. So I just about hung up on him, considered sleeping on the floor of the bathroom, but somehow made it back up and called him back to tell him that yes, I was alive and feeling much better. HAHA. That's where I was wrong. Shortly after I got off the phone with him for the second time, I brought my blankets with me back to the bathroom so I could camp out in there. When I got back to my bed, I had the chills so bad, I couldn't sleep. I had on a t-shirt, a long sleeved shirt, boxers, PJ pants, socks AND all the blankets on my bed and an additional blanket and I was still shivering and unable to sleep. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep on Sunday night. Monday was super fun!

Actually, the new job is great and all the people are really nice and I very much like it. Also, I'm allowed to be on googlechat all day long, which means not much working gets done. Haha. Back to yesterday...he knew how shitty I was feeling and kept on telling me all day long that the day was almost over (it wasn't) and that I should take some advil or something to make me feel better (I did, but I only felt better for a little bit) and that everyone there was bound to love me because how could they not? (they did). He was so sweet and awesome to me even though I was being a cranky bitch. Gosh, I so like him. We also briefly touched on the fact that neither one of us likes playing games or saying one thing when we mean another. Good to know we're on the same page. I talked to him briefly today. I would imagine that he might call me later as he has a habit of calling on Tuesday nights. It's just kind of what he does. I don't know when we are going out again, but maybe I'll know soon.

And in case anyone wants to know, he did kiss me on Friday night. It was very sweet and totally adorable and I was all girly about it. Which is amazing, cause I'm not girly about anything. He also put his arm around my side at one point to pull me in closer to him because he didn't hear what I said and I jumped like someone prodded me with a hot iron. It wasn't because I didn't like it, I just didn't know to expect it. We both laughed. I didn't trip over anything either, which made Achilles sad because he was really hoping for that. Why? Because I trip over everything and it amuses everyone. He was hoping for that moment.

That's about all that's going on right now. I have good feelings about what's going on with this, so everyone keep their fingers crossed for me. I'm going to go upstairs and crash on the couch and continue to recover from my mystery death flu illness. I don't know where it came from, but I'm so tired of it!

This stuff never gets old

Chickenkiller: Can i ask you a personaly question
Darcy: You can ask, that doesn't mean I'll answer.
Chickenkiller: Dont get mad ok
Darcy: Agreed
Chickenkiller: Are you in your 40s
Darcy: What?
Darcy: No.
Darcy: Why would you think that?
Darcy: I'm 24.
Chickenkiller: Because your so mature
Darcy: Hahhaha!
Chickenkiller: At least i didn't say what my friend said you were
Darcy: ?
Chickenkiller: I was talking about you being so mature and he said she maybe the L word
Darcy: Hahahah.!


And then to me she says....
Darcy: Wow..I even give off that vibe to people whose only contact w/ me is IM convo descriptions given to a friend.... *sighs*

Oh man

*dances* I like him! I so like him! I LIKE HIM SO MUCH.

Last night was so fun, we laughed a lot, saw Zack and Miri Make A Porno and generally enjoyed each other's company. Now let's see if he texts me today....

This made my shitty day so much better

Achilles: and then you get to hang out with me friday, which will be super sweet
me: well, yes
me: that will make friday even better than it was just going to be by it being my last day of work
Achilles: awww youre cute
Achilles: i would snuggle the shit out of you if you were here
me: i need a snuggle cause i'm just exhausted mentally


Darcy wanted me to know that when someone snuggles you so much you can't breathe, that's not snuggling anymore.

So yes, Achilles and I are going out on Friday night. Which is like, super actual date night. We were supposed to go out last Thursday night, but he had to run off and get SARS or something, so we didn't go out. He was feeling miserable, but managed to keep me amused all of Friday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday. Seriously. All fucking day. He's sweet to me and very funny and we're going to see where it goes. I'm very excited about this whole thing. Lilo commented today that I was the happiest that I've been in months when she saw me last night (election party...WHOO OBAMA! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!). She's right though. As I mentioned in the last post, it feels like everything is finally coming together and everything is good. I couldn't be any happier if I tried.

And...
me: there wasn't anyone annoying at the gym, i don't think
Achilles: im sure you were getting ogled like mad

GAG