Lots of thinking

I had a weird weekend (see below) and I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know this is the second time I've decided this, but I'm sticking with it, I think. I really am over Trogdor. That sounds bad, after dropping Ryan like I did for Trogdor. But the fact is that Trogdor, although appealing in many ways, just isn't in many other ways. I was listing the ways to Summer today:

1. He's duck footed. That's something that bothers me about ANYONE because I don't get it. It also really bothers Darcy and I think part of her botheredness rubbed off on me. I just want him to not be that way.

2. He sometimes doesn't get jokes people make. When we went to see my friends that are in a band play in NYC, I asked the drummer (Christian, LOVE HIM) if the bar we were going to had beer, cause if it didn't, I wasn't going. I was being silly. Christian said that this bar did not have beer, but something else (I don't remember what). Trogdor was like "why doesn't it have beer?" and I kind of laughed it off, but it was like, DUH DUDE

3. He has an annoying giggle. Don't even ask me to explain

4. He only owns 2 pairs of shoes and one of the pairs he doesn't even lace correctly!

5. He's very zen, but sometimes very stupid

6. No short term memory. NONE. AT ALL. I have to explain things like 40 times over

7. When I went to his place last weekend and he kissed me. It was the most awful awkward kiss ever. As Carrie says about Berger in Sex and the City "he couldn't possibly think that was good...did he think that was good?" Maybe he thought it was good. It was not good. It was horribly awkward

8. The feeling my friend Reaper put in the back of my head that there has to be something seriously SERIOUSLY wrong with him if he's looking for the ladiez online. I can't shake that thought at all. Then I wonder if he's a virgin and I am like "OH NO, NOT THAT" and yeah...

Maybe I am being too picky. But at the same time, I think I can be picky. I'm not saying that I'm looking for someone to marry, but I am looking for someone that gets it and gets me and although he does, there's things that bother me. I'm coming off as a bad person because this is #2 that I've done that to, but you know...I think I just need to get over myself. Trogdor gets me and that was part of my interest in him in the first place, but as I dug deeper into who he was...I realized more things. I don't want to have this conversation with him, but I know I have to. I still have to think about what I want to say and more importantly, when I want to say it. I just have to keep him interested but still not make out with him. YES, IT WAS THAT BAD. Think of it like this. You know when you first kiss someone, and it's that sweet soft little kiss where you are just feeling shit out? After that, you know enough to not kiss like that again. Fun fact: he didn't. He kept on doing that. I think I was annoyed at that point.

After my encounter this weekend with Nacho Libre (that's what Darcy and I decided to call him), I think part of that "whooo...someone is looking at me in the sexy way" thing is over. I mean, I must have been amazing enough or drunk enough for Nacho Libre to think it was more fun to talk to me. It's not that Nacho Libre is super hot, he's cute though. And he's one of those guys...you know what I mean? He is very charming. He could charm the pants off of anyone. Or just me. It's a total power trip for a girl like me without much self esteem to be able to get a guy like that look at her in THAT way. It could have been my bra or it could have been my low cut shirt. I can honestly say that I got something from Nacho that I really needed and he doesn't get how important that was and all he did was exist. I am not going to tell him that information, cause that would just be creepy. The more I thought about it today, the more I realize that I have no idea what I said or did that would make him be like "okay, we're leaving the bar now" but I'm assuming it was something good. I really wasn't that drunk, but I was sorta drunk and then I was out late and then only slept for like, 5 hours, so everything is in this mist of was it a dream or did I actually say/do those things? And on another note, if my performance was as lackluster as Nacho's was, I would be really looking for another chance to make it up to that person. Summer seems to think that Nacho is the sort of person that really won't care and she may have something there. I don't really care cause it was fun, but I would have liked to have more fun. Odds are we'll meet up again. We're friends on myspace, so we're like, pratically married.

I am totally married to this man though.