Bad blogger

Yes, I've been a bad blogger. Nothing has been happening though. Well, correction. Something has been happening.

So Bootcamp Boyfriend, AKA Boots, is home from bootcamp. He was IMing me before, if you recall and saying that he was coming home. And when he signed off from AIM, he told me he loved me. Of course that rattled me because I wasn't prepared to deal with that. How could I be? I hadn't talked to him in months and now he's like "oh, love you!" Asshole. We've been talking, just as friends. I don't mind having him as a friend in my life. He always was able to make me laugh when we dated, he just was a giant asshole.

It seems now that Boots has changed. I'm not saying that I'm dating him again, but he's a different sort of person. Maybe bootcamp really did knock the snot out of him. He's been really open about his feelings and generally just really nice to me. He's been telling me that I'm gorgeous and beautiful and smart and funny and cute and pretty and adorable and all sorts of other things like that. Things that I would have killed for him to tell me when we were dating, but he never had the words to say so. Now he's telling me all sorts of things that I want to hear. Just not from him. I can't say that I don't like the attention, because I do. I like knowing that someone thinks I'm beautiful.

You know how I feel about the word beautiful. When he says it, I'm able to believe it because he knows me completely. He knew all the little things about me. He saw the bad parts and the good parts and everything in between. He liked me anyway.

As he's saying all these nice things about me, I told him that he should have told me that when we were dating. He said he always felt this way and I should have known. I told him regardless of the fact that I should have known, I didn't. And he didn't tell me.

Before anyone says how stupid I'm being for even talking to him again...that's all it is. We're talking. I can talk to my ex-boyfriends. Although Reaper is a bad example, I talk to Reaper all the time. There's no good reason that I can't talk to Boots in the same way that I talk to Reaper. Granted, it won't be the same, but I can treat it the same way.