And furthermore...

Going off the post a few down about how Nacho blew me off...who is he to say I'm a slut? Exactly when did flirting become slutty? I would never call myself a slut. Have I slept with several guys? Yes, I have. And although this is the interwebz, I'm not putting an actual number to that. Is it several dozen guys? No, it's not. I can sleep with whomever I want. Fuck him. But not really, cause he's an asshole.

I was talking with a co-worker today about when she stopped liking Sex and the City and she said it was the episode where Samantha gives the Fed-ex guy a blowjob and Carrie walks in on her. When I thought about that moment, I realized that maybe Samantha is the real slut. She hooked up with all sorts of men, none of them that she knew or cared about. That's not to say that I haven't hooked up with people and not cared, but everyone I hook up with isn't a total stranger. And a good number of the guys that make up the number I'm not saying I dated.

I realize now that starting from the moment that I dated my Weston Footballer, he changed things. I misplaced my virginity after junior prom. Probably not the proudest moment in my life, but since that moment, things have been interesting. I realize now that if I haven't slept with Reaper when I did, then he wouldn't be as big a part of my life as he is. If I never dated Bootcamp boyfriend on and off for two years, I wouldn't have been knocked down more than I could get up. But I also wouldn't have found it within myself to ditch him. Every guy, whether I dated him or just slept with him, made me realize something within my self, as corny and dumb as that sounds. Trying to sleep with with Nacho helped me to prove to myself that someone could just want me on the basis of me being hot that night. I needed that. I needed to know I could attractive someone in that horrible bad animalistic way. And I did. We see how well that went. I totally rule.

At least I'm at a point in my life where I see myself as being amazing and awesome and fantastic and fabulous. It took me a long ass time to get here. And I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.


P.S. On the sex note, if I don't have halfway decent sex by August, a mercy killing may be in order. Seriously guys, that marks a year and I might not be able to handle that as a reality. Seriously.