Darcy, I love you like no other

Darcy just emailed me this conversation. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. What a fucking creep.

Darcy: Just got home from summer camp.
Darcy: Wow...I totally sounded 5.
F'n Creep: what kind?
Darcy: I was actually supervising some adults who are new to
working with some students I had during the school year... To help with the
transition...
Darcy: I guess it's a regular day camp. Lots of activities the kids do
during the day.
Darcy: It went really well, so I was happy. We'll have to see what
tomorrow brings.
Darcy: Why are you bored?
F'n Creep: well, lonely, orny i guess haha , u?
Darcy: OH... Okay.
F'n Creep: honesty lol
Darcy: Well, it's reasonable.
Darcy: Where did you move to Hartfod from?
Darcy: *Hartford
F'n Creep: vermont
F'n Creep: so ur horny too then? lol
Darcy: I'm sorry?
Darcy: Oh! VT!
Darcy: Not that I've lived there, but it's a beautiful state... My friend
has a lot of family over there...
Darcy: And a cabin in...I think it's called Hubberton?
Darcy: Or Castleton or something like that.
F'n Creep: its a nice place
F'n Creep: what are u packin?
Darcy: What do you mean?
F'n Creep: bra size lol sorry was a crude joke
Darcy: Oh. I see.
Darcy: Sorry, I can be slow on the uptake at times...especially with
sarcasm.
F'n Creep: DD's?
Darcy: Are you seriously asking?
F'n Creep: sure
Darcy: Not to be confrontational, but I barely know you at all. Not
even your name and you're asking personal information right off the bat?
Darcy: In short, I'm not answering that question. You're
welcome to try another though.
F'n Creep: sorry
Darcy: That's fine. I'm not angry..just taken aback.
F'n Creep: sorry, im just attracted to ya
Darcy: Well, there's no problem in that. Anways....
Darcy: Aside from moving to CT what else is there about you?
F'n Creep: love to travel, make love, eat, drink, party, sports
Darcy: Cool!
Darcy: I suppose I should say some things about me, huh?
Hmm...
Darcy: I like being outside, but I'm a homebody too. I like doing
things around the house (although I'm living w/ my family while I finish up
school and save up). Walking the dog, yard work, riding my bike
Darcy: around the neighborhood.
Darcy: I've only recently gotten into the idea of going "out" to a bar
or club. I really didn't start that until a year or so ago. But it can be fun.


And that point, he realized that Darcy wasn't the girl for him and closed the window. Thank god. THANK GOD. Seriously dude, what's your deal? Also awesome? The fact that he's all like "yeah, I want to be on you" and Darcy is like "Really, Vermont?! How interesting!" Love you Darcy. Me love you long time.