Music makes you lose control

I was thinking today as I danced around my room getting dressed. I know, I was dancing and thinking...AT THE SAME TIME. That's not the point. I was listening to my old ipod, the one that has old playlists and old music from my computer that I used in college. I had made a mix called "strange love kind of feeling" and so it had all sorts of songs relating to love. Many were from Dave Matthews Band...I was that kind of college student. What struck me though is the songs that I put on there that reminded me of ex-boyfriends and ex-crushes. When those songs came on, all I could think of was that person. So here's the rundown of things that were ruined by exs that I've mostly reclaimed as my own. For some songs, I have no idea why they remind me of the ex. For others - the reasons make more sense.

- Dickhole Pete - ruined "Parade of Punk Rock T-shirts" by Maritime. I was listening to that before I met him for dinner. It's a great song to run to, so I've been listening to it when I work out and thinking of how much of a dickhole he was makes me run faster and harder. Or something.
- Reaper - "Stellar" by Incubus. Since I really don't hate Reaper in any sense of the word, it was easy to bring this one back to me. Actually, almost all of the "Make Yourself" album by Incubus reminds me of Reaper. My copy of that CD got stuck in the CD player in his car and he bought me a new one cause he felt so bad. We went to see Incubus once and it was awesome.
- Bootcamp Boyfriend – I associate him most frequently with Incubus. I think that was the first thing that we realized that we had in common. He burned me a copy of “Crow Left of the Murder” and I had a hard time listening to it for a while because it reminded me of him and also because his writing is on the CD. He also ruined the Lostprophets for a while too. The only song he still might have a hold on is “Last Summer”. I don’t think it’s as bad as it used to be since I don’t talk to him anymore. We used to share a lot of music though.
- The Statie – he didn’t get music. Really and seriously. He liked Jack Johnson, but that is so chill that no one can really change it. He also went with me to see Incubus (twice) but the first time was the time that mattered. It was our one year anniversary and he was being really sweet. Or he was until we met up with some friends of mine (they’re in a band) and The Statie got drunk and was telling them stories of other girls he slept with. That did not amuse me. I was pretty pissed, actually. Since I’m now totally and officially done with him, taking this music back was no problem. I really don’t think of him or talk to him anymore, so nothing much reminds me of him.
- The Engineer – “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by the Barenaked Ladies. Also “Martha My Dear” by The Beatles. I don’t hear those songs as often as the other ones, but it still brings back memories of me almost being a dirty skank. Good thing I wasn’t.

I feel like there should be more boys on that list, but I guess there really isn’t. That’s okay though. I want a guy that gets music, but at the same time, I don’t because then they take that music away from me. It’s hard when you hear a song and it brings you back to that moment and you think of that guy and your feelings and the smells and the summer breeze or whatever and realize that he was an asshole, you never actually got along with him and that part of your life you can never get back. You know, just as an example.

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