I don't know where Darcy finds these guys. Actually, I do. But it's like they are seeking her out because they think she will have low standards. Since she's friends with me, she has totally high standards. And these guys are gross. I didn't bother to change his name...cause I don't care enough.
Darcy: Or at least what it's near?
Mattthedragonking: new york
Mattthedragonking: wow you look like ur grandma (note: she's with my grandma in that picture. Don't ask me why she posted that one. But apparently I don't even look like my own grandma.)
Darcy: That's actually my friend's grandmother.
Darcy: It's like I'm in the family though...
Mattthedragonking: ohh
Mattthedragonking: maybe its the angel you looking uh, what?
Mattthedragonking: why would someone look at me from north calorlina
Darcy: Because they're interested in your profile?
Darcy: It doesn't matter where people are from...
Mattthedragonking: i know u view me
Mattthedragonking: but she 53 (Why can't people conjugate anything? Really.)
Mattthedragonking: i dont wanna be calling her mom
Darcy: I mean it's completely impractical, but it doesn't mean you
can't make friends or anything.... Hahhahaha!
Mattthedragonking: wow
Mattthedragonking: your smart and pretty
Darcy: ? Oh... well. thank you. That's very kind of you.
Mattthedragonking: thanks
Mattthedragonking: thats why i dont have a gf
Darcy: oh?
Mattthedragonking: i am to nice
Darcy: I think you're just going for the wrong type of girl....
Darcy: Cause I really don't understand why someone wouldn't
want someone who is nice....
Mattthedragonking: well i had an online gf
Darcy: I mean, who would want to be with a jerk?
Darcy: Oh?
Darcy: What happened w/ her?
Mattthedragonking: i dumped her because her mom said she coudlnt vist it
me
Mattthedragonking: like a month ago
Darcy: How old was she?
Mattthedragonking: 19
Darcy: Oooh.. I see.
Mattthedragonking: ya
Mattthedragonking: she still a child
Darcy: Well, I think that makes sense.
Mattthedragonking: we lasted a year
Darcy: Wow...
Mattthedragonking: ya
Darcy: Did she live nearby?
Mattthedragonking: maryland 260 miles away
Darcy: Oh geez!
Darcy: That's far!
Mattthedragonking: ya
Mattthedragonking: your only 77miles
Darcy: You've already mapped it out?
Mattthedragonking: well google did
Mattthedragonking: i wanted to know where wailton is (Creeper Alert!)
Darcy: Ha!
Darcy: Oh.. I see.
Mattthedragonking: do you like to swim
Darcy: That's funny you mention that....
Darcy: I actually went swimming today for the first time in over 2
years.
Mattthedragonking: wow
Mattthedragonking: thats longer then i have
Darcy: Yeah... I don't really know why I haven't gone....
Mattthedragonking: i dont like the beach
Darcy: We're fortunate enough to have a pool....I just don't like
being wet...
Darcy: Yeah, sand is really annoying at the beach...
Mattthedragonking: so you dont shower
Darcy: Oh funny! I shower. I just don't like getting rained on or
sprayed w/ water or anything like that...
Mattthedragonking: rain
Mattthedragonking: is fun
Mattthedragonking: someone spraying isnt
Darcy: As long as I'm under an umbrella or inside...
Mattthedragonking: ok
Mattthedragonking: do you have aim
Darcy: Actually I do...
Mattthedragonking: ok
Darcy: You're welcome to IM me...I know POF is kinda difficult to
use.
Darcy: at least for chatting.
Mattthedragonking: i will im you there but are you a veggitan (He spelled it wrong)
Darcy: A vegitarian? (And then she did too)
Darcy: Is it a problem if I am?
Mattthedragonking: person who dont eat meat
Darcy: Why, yes... How did you guess?
Mattthedragonking: ok becuz my name is a bit werid
Mattthedragonking: i dont know you just look it
Darcy: I'm not a crazy one though... Oh? Is it... Ikill and eat animals
yum?
Mattthedragonking: cool
Mattthedragonking: are you ready
Mattthedragonking: i am going im you now
Darcy: Yeah, I'm signed on...
Mattthedragonking: i knoww
Darcy: that's fine.
Then he found her on AIM. These are the parts that Darcy sent me. I also left his screename here because it's so fucking weird. So weird.
Chickenkiller52: you look younger then 24
Darcy: Hahhaa...
Darcy: Maybe it's because I work with kids... so I have a 10 year old mentallity.
Chickenkiller52: i hope ur not like that on a date
----------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
Chickenkiller52: i g2g
Chickenkiller52: if you want i will talk to u later
Chickenkiller52: like the next time i am on
Chickenkiller52: dinner is here
Chickenkiller52: mc doo doos (Does this bother anyone else as much as it bothers me? Mc Doo Doos? Seriously?)
Darcy: Cool.
Darcy: Nice chatting w/ you.
Darcy: Have fun!
Chickenkiller52: i will
Chickenkiller52: eating nuggets
Darcy: enjoy! BYE!
Chickenkiller52: thanks
Chickenkiller52: u want sum
Darcy: That's okay...thanks though!
Chickenkiller52: lol
Chickenkiller52: take care
Darcy: you too!
Chickenkiller52: *****hugs*****
Chickenkiller52: umm can i have a hug too
Darcy: Do I know you well enough to hug you? (Darcy in all her fabulousness is even a bit prudish on the internets)
Darcy: I'll give you a high five though. If you want.
Chickenkiller52: i am not a pick pocketer
Chickenkiller52: hugs are better
Chickenkiller52: ok
Chickenkiller52: fine hi-5
Darcy: Alright... *high fives*
Chickenkiller52: hugs
Chickenkiller52: lol
Darcy: Dude, go eat!
Chickenkiller52: ahha i huged u (He huged you good!)
Chickenkiller52: sorry
Chickenkiller52: i will eat
Chickenkiller52: :(
Darcy: okay.. Later!
Chickenkiller52: pc
Chickenkiller52: peace
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Quick update, but more later
I just got a text from Nacho. He said that he was sorry that he might have said things about me when he was drunk and he hoped that we could be friends again someday soon. No, I don't think so. I'm not replying to the text message and I bet I will get another one or two before the day is through.
Last night I went out with my aunt and we saw cute waiter man. I have taken to calling him Cheesy Fries as that's what he brought my brothers last weekend. I was formally introduced to him and we talked about Harry Potter. My aunt says that he was kind of psyched to meet me (cause let's face it, I'm the bees knees) but he got all jammed up? I don't know the exact details, but I'll find them out, damnit!
Last night I went out with my aunt and we saw cute waiter man. I have taken to calling him Cheesy Fries as that's what he brought my brothers last weekend. I was formally introduced to him and we talked about Harry Potter. My aunt says that he was kind of psyched to meet me (cause let's face it, I'm the bees knees) but he got all jammed up? I don't know the exact details, but I'll find them out, damnit!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Last night...she saidddddddd
As you might remember, I went out with Radio Flyer last night. He is really nice and he bought me a beer or two and we just talked about stuff. Nothing really important. He noticed that I got my hair highlighted and he told me how pretty it looked. Well, duh. I’m awesome. Not much else happened. He said that we should hang out again. His sister is getting married next weekend and he’s going to be giving her away and I thought that was cute.
Radio Flyer is cute. He’s a very nice boy. But much likeThe Graduate, I don’t know if he can handle me. As usual, after I go out with a boy, I call Reaper. Reaper said something last night that was brilliant…and it was along the lines of I need someone that can be fun with me but know when to bring me back down. I need an edgy rock? Is that what he said? I don’t remember. He's totally right though. I need a guy that can roll with the punches but know when the punching should stop. Or something.
Something else happened and I'm looking for opinions. Reaper thinks it's a joke gone wrong, and I might have to agree with him, but I would love to know what my devoted followers think. As we were leaving the bar, there was a sign for my english teacher's band and the next date they were playing. I was saying how one day Darcy said that they should play at my wedding and all this stuff about my imaginary wedding or something. We somehow got on the 20 year plan and he was like "hey, we could have a 20 year plan" and I told him I already had a 20 year plan. With Reaper. I told him that if something happened between Reaper and I or Reaper was offed, then he could be my 25 year plan. He's like "so I guess that means we're engaged now?" and I said, no we'll be engaged in 25 years. It was just weird, but now that I think more about it, I could see myself saying that. I just found it a bit strange is all.
On Saturday night, I am going out with my aunt to Outback. Where Cheesyfries works. Should be an interesting night regardless.
Radio Flyer is cute. He’s a very nice boy. But much likeThe Graduate, I don’t know if he can handle me. As usual, after I go out with a boy, I call Reaper. Reaper said something last night that was brilliant…and it was along the lines of I need someone that can be fun with me but know when to bring me back down. I need an edgy rock? Is that what he said? I don’t remember. He's totally right though. I need a guy that can roll with the punches but know when the punching should stop. Or something.
Something else happened and I'm looking for opinions. Reaper thinks it's a joke gone wrong, and I might have to agree with him, but I would love to know what my devoted followers think. As we were leaving the bar, there was a sign for my english teacher's band and the next date they were playing. I was saying how one day Darcy said that they should play at my wedding and all this stuff about my imaginary wedding or something. We somehow got on the 20 year plan and he was like "hey, we could have a 20 year plan" and I told him I already had a 20 year plan. With Reaper. I told him that if something happened between Reaper and I or Reaper was offed, then he could be my 25 year plan. He's like "so I guess that means we're engaged now?" and I said, no we'll be engaged in 25 years. It was just weird, but now that I think more about it, I could see myself saying that. I just found it a bit strange is all.
On Saturday night, I am going out with my aunt to Outback. Where Cheesyfries works. Should be an interesting night regardless.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I'm awesome
Radio Flyer texted me last night and wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I just got home from work (cause I did) and that I was planning on going to the gym. He wanted to ask me out for a drink. I asked him what time and he said that we could meet up at like 9:30 or 10. I don't want to sound like an old person...but that's fucking late. Seriously! I'm usually in my pajamas by 10, so to be meeting someone at that time would be like, hard on me. Also, I wasn't in the right mindframe. I sometimes I have to get myself excited to do things. This is one of those things. So instead we are going to meet up on Thursday night, which should be fine. Then comes the next logical question...what do I wear?
I have to be honest - after I graduated from college, I gained some weight. It's not like I was ever skinny to begin with, but the beer and the pizza and all the other shit I was eating caught up to me. So I had cute "going out to the bar with a boyfriend that I already had" clothes, but nothing to get guys. As I've mentioned, I went to school in upstate NY and it was pretty cold. Everyone wore lots of clothes all the time. You didn't want to freeze to death. That being said, I'm now trying really hard to get the weight off that I put on. Which is a problem because nothing I own really fits anymore. My jeans are too big, but the next size down is too small. So do I wear jeans that are kind of big and hope for the best? Probably. There’s nothing I can do except lose more weight so a pair of pants actually fits me.
And since I'm a girly girl deep down, I have slutty underpants. We all do. Those are the underpants that you wear when you want to feel good about yourself. And if someone happened to see you in those underpants – well, you’d rock them 6 ways from Sunday. I know these underpants do the job of rocking. I’m not getting into how I might know these facts, but I do. The slutty underpants are almost fitting my ass, so that’s good. That’s the plan. Get my slutty underpants to fit and I’ll know that I’m getting back to where I want to be.
I pretty much always ask Summer what I should wear before I go out. She’s got some style and sass and well, I could learn a thing or two from her. And always, when I ask, she says “you need to wear the good bra”. Really? Do I? She tells me every time and it makes me laugh. The “good bra” is a bra I got from Victoria’s Secret. And the reason its good and the big secret is that it has like, little gel things in it that make your boobs look bigger. And feel very real. Much like the slutty underpants, I have received this information from some reliable sources. So I have a couple of those and I ordered a new one that Summer has - but since VS sucks a big one, my order is not here. My date is creeping up on me and I wanted to wear the good bra AND IT IS NOT AT MY HOUSE. I very much want to wear it.
The thing with the “good bra” that I worry about is once I take it off (if that’s happening) will it be that noticeable a difference? Then I think that if some guy is willing to go that extra step with me (god that sounds so not right) he’s not going to care. Is it lying to make my breasts seem larger than they really are? Or is it just giving them a little push in the right direction – that would be the hot direction.
In other totally interesting news, I went out with my aunt and my brothers on Saturday night to the resturant that her boyfriend works at. There was a cute waiter man there. Cute waiter man thought I was pretty. My aunt is trying to see what she can do. C'mon cute waiter man. Give me something good(er) to write about
I have to be honest - after I graduated from college, I gained some weight. It's not like I was ever skinny to begin with, but the beer and the pizza and all the other shit I was eating caught up to me. So I had cute "going out to the bar with a boyfriend that I already had" clothes, but nothing to get guys. As I've mentioned, I went to school in upstate NY and it was pretty cold. Everyone wore lots of clothes all the time. You didn't want to freeze to death. That being said, I'm now trying really hard to get the weight off that I put on. Which is a problem because nothing I own really fits anymore. My jeans are too big, but the next size down is too small. So do I wear jeans that are kind of big and hope for the best? Probably. There’s nothing I can do except lose more weight so a pair of pants actually fits me.
And since I'm a girly girl deep down, I have slutty underpants. We all do. Those are the underpants that you wear when you want to feel good about yourself. And if someone happened to see you in those underpants – well, you’d rock them 6 ways from Sunday. I know these underpants do the job of rocking. I’m not getting into how I might know these facts, but I do. The slutty underpants are almost fitting my ass, so that’s good. That’s the plan. Get my slutty underpants to fit and I’ll know that I’m getting back to where I want to be.
I pretty much always ask Summer what I should wear before I go out. She’s got some style and sass and well, I could learn a thing or two from her. And always, when I ask, she says “you need to wear the good bra”. Really? Do I? She tells me every time and it makes me laugh. The “good bra” is a bra I got from Victoria’s Secret. And the reason its good and the big secret is that it has like, little gel things in it that make your boobs look bigger. And feel very real. Much like the slutty underpants, I have received this information from some reliable sources. So I have a couple of those and I ordered a new one that Summer has - but since VS sucks a big one, my order is not here. My date is creeping up on me and I wanted to wear the good bra AND IT IS NOT AT MY HOUSE. I very much want to wear it.
The thing with the “good bra” that I worry about is once I take it off (if that’s happening) will it be that noticeable a difference? Then I think that if some guy is willing to go that extra step with me (god that sounds so not right) he’s not going to care. Is it lying to make my breasts seem larger than they really are? Or is it just giving them a little push in the right direction – that would be the hot direction.
In other totally interesting news, I went out with my aunt and my brothers on Saturday night to the resturant that her boyfriend works at. There was a cute waiter man there. Cute waiter man thought I was pretty. My aunt is trying to see what she can do. C'mon cute waiter man. Give me something good(er) to write about
Monday, June 23, 2008
Darcy, I love you like no other
Darcy just emailed me this conversation. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. What a fucking creep.
Darcy: Just got home from summer camp.
Darcy: Wow...I totally sounded 5.
F'n Creep: what kind?
Darcy: I was actually supervising some adults who are new to
working with some students I had during the school year... To help with the
transition...
Darcy: I guess it's a regular day camp. Lots of activities the kids do
during the day.
Darcy: It went really well, so I was happy. We'll have to see what
tomorrow brings.
Darcy: Why are you bored?
F'n Creep: well, lonely, orny i guess haha , u?
Darcy: OH... Okay.
F'n Creep: honesty lol
Darcy: Well, it's reasonable.
Darcy: Where did you move to Hartfod from?
Darcy: *Hartford
F'n Creep: vermont
F'n Creep: so ur horny too then? lol
Darcy: I'm sorry?
Darcy: Oh! VT!
Darcy: Not that I've lived there, but it's a beautiful state... My friend
has a lot of family over there...
Darcy: And a cabin in...I think it's called Hubberton?
Darcy: Or Castleton or something like that.
F'n Creep: its a nice place
F'n Creep: what are u packin?
Darcy: What do you mean?
F'n Creep: bra size lol sorry was a crude joke
Darcy: Oh. I see.
Darcy: Sorry, I can be slow on the uptake at times...especially with
sarcasm.
F'n Creep: DD's?
Darcy: Are you seriously asking?
F'n Creep: sure
Darcy: Not to be confrontational, but I barely know you at all. Not
even your name and you're asking personal information right off the bat?
Darcy: In short, I'm not answering that question. You're
welcome to try another though.
F'n Creep: sorry
Darcy: That's fine. I'm not angry..just taken aback.
F'n Creep: sorry, im just attracted to ya
Darcy: Well, there's no problem in that. Anways....
Darcy: Aside from moving to CT what else is there about you?
F'n Creep: love to travel, make love, eat, drink, party, sports
Darcy: Cool!
Darcy: I suppose I should say some things about me, huh?
Hmm...
Darcy: I like being outside, but I'm a homebody too. I like doing
things around the house (although I'm living w/ my family while I finish up
school and save up). Walking the dog, yard work, riding my bike
Darcy: around the neighborhood.
Darcy: I've only recently gotten into the idea of going "out" to a bar
or club. I really didn't start that until a year or so ago. But it can be fun.
And that point, he realized that Darcy wasn't the girl for him and closed the window. Thank god. THANK GOD. Seriously dude, what's your deal? Also awesome? The fact that he's all like "yeah, I want to be on you" and Darcy is like "Really, Vermont?! How interesting!" Love you Darcy. Me love you long time.
Darcy: Just got home from summer camp.
Darcy: Wow...I totally sounded 5.
F'n Creep: what kind?
Darcy: I was actually supervising some adults who are new to
working with some students I had during the school year... To help with the
transition...
Darcy: I guess it's a regular day camp. Lots of activities the kids do
during the day.
Darcy: It went really well, so I was happy. We'll have to see what
tomorrow brings.
Darcy: Why are you bored?
F'n Creep: well, lonely, orny i guess haha , u?
Darcy: OH... Okay.
F'n Creep: honesty lol
Darcy: Well, it's reasonable.
Darcy: Where did you move to Hartfod from?
Darcy: *Hartford
F'n Creep: vermont
F'n Creep: so ur horny too then? lol
Darcy: I'm sorry?
Darcy: Oh! VT!
Darcy: Not that I've lived there, but it's a beautiful state... My friend
has a lot of family over there...
Darcy: And a cabin in...I think it's called Hubberton?
Darcy: Or Castleton or something like that.
F'n Creep: its a nice place
F'n Creep: what are u packin?
Darcy: What do you mean?
F'n Creep: bra size lol sorry was a crude joke
Darcy: Oh. I see.
Darcy: Sorry, I can be slow on the uptake at times...especially with
sarcasm.
F'n Creep: DD's?
Darcy: Are you seriously asking?
F'n Creep: sure
Darcy: Not to be confrontational, but I barely know you at all. Not
even your name and you're asking personal information right off the bat?
Darcy: In short, I'm not answering that question. You're
welcome to try another though.
F'n Creep: sorry
Darcy: That's fine. I'm not angry..just taken aback.
F'n Creep: sorry, im just attracted to ya
Darcy: Well, there's no problem in that. Anways....
Darcy: Aside from moving to CT what else is there about you?
F'n Creep: love to travel, make love, eat, drink, party, sports
Darcy: Cool!
Darcy: I suppose I should say some things about me, huh?
Hmm...
Darcy: I like being outside, but I'm a homebody too. I like doing
things around the house (although I'm living w/ my family while I finish up
school and save up). Walking the dog, yard work, riding my bike
Darcy: around the neighborhood.
Darcy: I've only recently gotten into the idea of going "out" to a bar
or club. I really didn't start that until a year or so ago. But it can be fun.
And that point, he realized that Darcy wasn't the girl for him and closed the window. Thank god. THANK GOD. Seriously dude, what's your deal? Also awesome? The fact that he's all like "yeah, I want to be on you" and Darcy is like "Really, Vermont?! How interesting!" Love you Darcy. Me love you long time.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Ex-boyfriends?
Very excellent article
I was thinking today while I was at the gym about all my ex-boyfriends. All of them. I can't say that I am proud of some of them, but they helped me become who I am now and help me to know that I don't ever want to date boys again. So here's the list of winning boyfriends, in all its glory. I might do a bit of oversharing. I'm just warning you
1. Weston Footballer
- dated for 3-4 months when I was a junior in high school
- played football (duh)
- helped me to misplace my virginity
What can I say about the WF? He is the reason that I started down the trail of "Boy, I love sex!" He was my first boyfriend. I met him at a leadership conference when I was a junior in high school (the fall time). We were talking online a bit before he asked me out on a date. He came to pick me up, he was dressed exactly how I like a man to be dressed and wowed my parents. I can't tell you for the life of me what we did. He bought me roses. He came and hugged me tight when I thought my parents were going to get divorced. Was an excellent boyfriend...before I slept with him. A month or two after that, we broke up...but still had sex. Oops. He would come over to my house late at night and we would go back to his house. I haven't seen him recently, maybe 2 years ago? The last time he saw me, I was working at the bookstore and I had on my emo glasses. He told me I looked like a sexy librarian. He still IMs me from time to time, wondering who I'm sleeping with. He also tells me in great detail about the sex we had, as if I had forgotten. I tried to forget, but he brings it up again. He had a girlfriend that he would cheat on all the time, but it was okay...cause she was cheating on him all the time. He's currently trying to convince his new girlfriend to have a 3 way.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I think he did. Why? Because he was bored? Because I was all emo? Beats me
Friendship status - IMs every now and again. He lives down in PA
2. Reaper
- dated for 6 months or so between senior year of high school and first semester freshman year of college
- went to my college, which was where I met him
- left after freshman year
- Best. Boyfriend. Ever
Reaper is one of my best friends. Honest to God, I wouldn't change that for the world. It took us a while to get there. I met him at the accepted students weekend at my college. He told me I had beautiful eyes. After that weekend, we kept on talking. He came with me to my senior prom. We started dating shortly after that. It was a long summer without him. We were inseperable in college. We had all the same friends. He was an awesome boyfriend - always there for me, always said the nicest, sweetest things to me, always wanted me to be happy. We had awesome sex. And then we broke up. We didn't talk for a few months, which was hard cause we had all the same friends. Then we made up...and started sleeping together again. My sophmore year of college, he came to visit and hooked up with my roommate. I stopped talking to him after that. We didn't talk for 8-9 months until before my 20th birthday. Then we became best buds again. He met all my boyfriends in college to give them the seal of approval. He threatens to beat up guys that hurt me. We thought about getting back together a few times, but never did. Right now, I would much rather have him in my life all the time as my best friend than run the risk of breaking up with him and losing him again.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - He did. I was still emo. He thought that if we didn't break up, he would end up marrying me. Says that was the biggest mistake he ever made
Friendship status - He's my BFF. We talk like, 3-4 times a week. He makes me feel better when boys make me feel down. I don't see him half as much as I should. I miss him terribly all the time.
3. Maine Man
- dated for maybe a month second semester of my freshman year of college
- I stomped all over this one
I started dating Maine Man a month or two after Reaper and I broke up. He was friends with one of my friend's (named Robin) boyfriends (named Skullcrusher). They lived across the hall from each other. He looked a lot like the Weston Footballer. He was sweet and innocent. He drove all the way from Maine (where he lived) to Connecticut to get me to bring me to school...in upstate New York. We got him really drunk one night and he couldn't find his way back to his own dorm. None of us helped him home. His heart was totally in the right place, but I wasn't over Reaper. He also had the tinest smallest little weiner...ever. It was sad. If I had known this, I would have never gotten involved with him in the first place. I broke up with him when I was drunk, then slid down a muddy hill on my ass. And not on purpose. I broke the poor boy's heart. It gets better though. He lived with Skullcrusher our sophmore year of college. Skullcrusher was terribly in love with Robin...and she broke up with him. And I went to pick up the pieces. That was awkward. Then one night I went to a party with Skullcrusher and Maine Man and I wanted to go home. Skullcrusher told Maine Man to walk me home. He did and then he told me all the bad things about me. Awesome conversation.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I broke up with him. I wasn't over Reaper. It just wasn't working. He had a tiny weiner.
Friendship status - He left after first sememester of sophmore year. I think I might have talked to him once since then and he was engaged.
4. The Reject
- Dated him for 3-4 months first semester of my sophmore year of college
- Worst. Boyfriend. Ever.
I started dating The Reject for really only one reason. My grandfather was dying from throat/lung cancer. I was in upstate New York. I was so upset and I needed someone to make me feel better. In addition, I was really sick. I was sleeping all the time and couldn't get out of bed and I had the nastiest worst migraines as well. Because of all my sleeping, I really don't remember much of my relationship with The Reject and that's probably for the best. I was in sad fucking shape, my friends. Enter The Reject. His friend (Kellen) was dating one of my friends (Liz) and that's how I met him. He was short. Like, 5'4". I'm 5'10". We were weird together. He had gotten into a serious car accident with Bootcamp Boyfriend and another friend of theirs. He wasn't a good boyfriend because he did nothing to try to make me feel special. He would stay with me at my college dorm and talk to other girls online about how we were breaking up. Of course, I had AIM logging, so I found these conversations. I went with Liz and surprised him at his house one day. He was on the phone with another girl. He had a really hard time holding down a job. He more or less sucked at life. He's the boyfriend I never talk about becaues it's flat out embarassing that I would have dated him. He started going to the college that The Statie went to...a year after I graduated. From what I hear, he went looking for me and couldn't find me. Because I had graduated. Fucking moron.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I did. I realized that I needed to be better and I needed to fix myself and he wasn't a part of that. He was probably cheating on me too. Oh, and he was a reject
Friendship status - What do you think? He still IMs Darcy from time to time though.
5. Bootcamp Boyfriend
- Dated him on and off for 2 years, starting my sophmore year of college and ending my senior year. TWO FUCKING YEARS
- He gets in my brain and I can't get him out
- Amazing sex. Totally amazing.
Bootcamp Boyfriend was friends with The Reject, which was how I met him. He was totally charming and totally into me. When we first started dating, he would come to see me every weekend (he lived like an hour away in the boonies). He worked nights, but would still come to see me. One weekend, he didn't come to see me and he was kind of ignoring me. So I got a little drunk and hooked up with this other guy. I came clean, but that was always awkward. When things between us were good, they were great and excellent. I totally loved him. I really did. The end. He sent me flowers when I had to get my tonsils out over the summer. He missed me while I was gone. Then it was time for me to go back to school and back to him...and he stopped returning my calls. He stopped talking to me altogether. He didn't want to date me anymore, I guess? I can't tell you how we got back together, but we did. It might have been because my computer broke and he offered to fix it. We might have been talking by IM? Then we started talking more and more and got back together. My roommates hated him (with good reason) but I tried to make them like him. He would make me cry on a daily basis. He was totally emotionally abusive. I put up with that for two years. I don't even know how. I would only see him on the weekends, as I said. We would talk during the week and he would tell me about the other girls that he worked with and how they were hitting on him and they had bigger tits than I did and so on and so forth. I would cry and feel like shit. Then at the end of the conversation, he would tell me he loved me. And when he saw me, he would tell me how much he loved me and how he couldn't live without me. I bought into that. We kept on breaking up and making up for a long time. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I started working with a group of people that helped me think the best of myself. I stopped sleeping so much and I lost 25 pounds. My confidence grew. I was strong enough to get out of my emotionally abusive relationship and recognize it as such. I finally had enough in me to get rid of him and move on and be a better person. A better, more amazing person. I wanted my friends back. I wanted to be like I was. He, meanwhile, was dating some girl that was cheating on him. His dad got married and even before my senior year in college and his dad's new wife told me that I wasn't invited to the wedding. I didn't need him. But for some reason, I saw him. He came upstairs to my dorm room, pushed me up against the door and said "I love you still. Always." Uh, what? So we had a thing that didn't go well my senior year of college. It was always like pulling teeth to try to get him to come and see me. The few times that we did though, we had a great time. He would be excellent boyfriend when we were together. He would be not excellent boyfriend...every other time. That math doesn't add up. I met The Statie as my relationship with Bootcamp Boyfriend came to a halt. One of the last days when I was at college, packing up my room before graduation, he called me. He was hysterical in tears. Like, couldn't get the words out tears. He was telling me how much he loved me and how awesome I was and how he couldn't live without me and so on and so forth. I didn't buy it. We then didn't talk for a while until I had this crazy ass dream about him. I emailed him, expecting him to not return my email or anything. He called. He was leaving for Bootcamp. He said he wanted to see me, but since I know him and that most everything he says is a lie, I doubted him. He got mad and hung up on me and that's the last I heard from him. We hated each other most of the time but we had awesome and amazing sex. That might have been why I stayed with him. I'll admit it.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - Pick a time. Sometimes it was him, sometimes it was mutual. The last time and the time that stuck, it was me. I got tired of being emotionally shoved to the floor. I got up, dusted myself off and got rid of him
Friendship status - He was at bootcamp the last time I knew. He has yet to return an email.
6.The Statie
- dated him for just over a year
- went to the state college across the street from my private college
- finally stopped calling me
He was my most recent boyfriend. I fell pretty hard for this one and I don't know why. He was dumb. I took a year of boyfriend detox from him and now I'm much better and much more awesome. He rode in on the coattails of my breakup with Bootcamp Boyfriend. Some of my friends from my school used to go to the state college and introduced me to him. We all would live at the bar my senior year, so that's where I met him. He was always at mug night. We had some playful flirting to start. One night I was down there and I was only going to stay for a beer or two. I didn't have money and I was cranky as shit and I just didn't like people. He saw me as I was leaving and asked me where I was going. I told him I was broke and going home. He offered to buy me a beer. And then another. And another. At about 2 AM, we were going back to his dorm to drink more beer. I ended up spending the night at his place...in his bed. He was in his roommate's bed. I remember calling Reaper on my walk of not shame back to my side of the street. Not long after that we started dating. We had a lot of fun and things were good. There was this girl that worked at the bar that we called (and I'm not proud of this name, but I didn't come up with it) Shovelface. She really liked The Statie. She liked him so much that since State and U had different spring breaks, she told him that they should hang out...when I was on break. I was pretty pissed. He did end up coming back from his spring break early just to hang out with me. My friends liked him, I liked him and all was good. We thought we would have some fling until the end of the year, but it turned out not to be that way. We dated all summer long and I was in love with him. We were in love. But I graduated and was looking for bigger and better things to do with my life and he...didn't finish his degree. He's 2-4 credits short. He's still not done. Although it was cute for everyone to drink a lot in college, the further removed we got from it, the less socially acceptable it became. My family liked him, but he was a drunk. So things started falling apart. He came to visit one weekend and all we fucking did was fight. He picked a fight with me over Trivial Pursuit 90's edition. I can't make that up. We broke up not long after that. He started dating another girl that I call Trainwreck. She was a real upgrade from me: worked in the fish department at Pricechopper, had a baby, the baby daddy was nailing a 16 year old, she just barely had a high school education, etc. I was feeling pretty wounded and saw no reason for him to want to be with her and not be with me. I got over that though. Then The Statie and Trainwreck broke up because she was cheating on him...SURPRISE! That's when the phone calls and texts started. He would call me at all hours of the night, begging me to come back to him and answer his phone calls and send me these emo text messages about how he couldn't live without me and he needed me and so on. I had no patience for that. One night, he called me like, 12 times, no joke. I answered the phone on the 13th time and just yelled at him. Not my proudest moment, but I couldn't take the 4 AM calls anymore. He's since stopped calling which is good, cause I just don't care.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - He did the first time. Then he kept on crawling back and I didn't want him
Friendship status - Not on your life.
Wow. Looking at all of this...wow. I'm a fucking magical person. Each and every one of those dumbass boys helped me get here. They helped me to believe in myself and my general awesomeness. I might hate some of them, but I can't help but thank them a little bit
I was thinking today while I was at the gym about all my ex-boyfriends. All of them. I can't say that I am proud of some of them, but they helped me become who I am now and help me to know that I don't ever want to date boys again. So here's the list of winning boyfriends, in all its glory. I might do a bit of oversharing. I'm just warning you
1. Weston Footballer
- dated for 3-4 months when I was a junior in high school
- played football (duh)
- helped me to misplace my virginity
What can I say about the WF? He is the reason that I started down the trail of "Boy, I love sex!" He was my first boyfriend. I met him at a leadership conference when I was a junior in high school (the fall time). We were talking online a bit before he asked me out on a date. He came to pick me up, he was dressed exactly how I like a man to be dressed and wowed my parents. I can't tell you for the life of me what we did. He bought me roses. He came and hugged me tight when I thought my parents were going to get divorced. Was an excellent boyfriend...before I slept with him. A month or two after that, we broke up...but still had sex. Oops. He would come over to my house late at night and we would go back to his house. I haven't seen him recently, maybe 2 years ago? The last time he saw me, I was working at the bookstore and I had on my emo glasses. He told me I looked like a sexy librarian. He still IMs me from time to time, wondering who I'm sleeping with. He also tells me in great detail about the sex we had, as if I had forgotten. I tried to forget, but he brings it up again. He had a girlfriend that he would cheat on all the time, but it was okay...cause she was cheating on him all the time. He's currently trying to convince his new girlfriend to have a 3 way.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I think he did. Why? Because he was bored? Because I was all emo? Beats me
Friendship status - IMs every now and again. He lives down in PA
2. Reaper
- dated for 6 months or so between senior year of high school and first semester freshman year of college
- went to my college, which was where I met him
- left after freshman year
- Best. Boyfriend. Ever
Reaper is one of my best friends. Honest to God, I wouldn't change that for the world. It took us a while to get there. I met him at the accepted students weekend at my college. He told me I had beautiful eyes. After that weekend, we kept on talking. He came with me to my senior prom. We started dating shortly after that. It was a long summer without him. We were inseperable in college. We had all the same friends. He was an awesome boyfriend - always there for me, always said the nicest, sweetest things to me, always wanted me to be happy. We had awesome sex. And then we broke up. We didn't talk for a few months, which was hard cause we had all the same friends. Then we made up...and started sleeping together again. My sophmore year of college, he came to visit and hooked up with my roommate. I stopped talking to him after that. We didn't talk for 8-9 months until before my 20th birthday. Then we became best buds again. He met all my boyfriends in college to give them the seal of approval. He threatens to beat up guys that hurt me. We thought about getting back together a few times, but never did. Right now, I would much rather have him in my life all the time as my best friend than run the risk of breaking up with him and losing him again.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - He did. I was still emo. He thought that if we didn't break up, he would end up marrying me. Says that was the biggest mistake he ever made
Friendship status - He's my BFF. We talk like, 3-4 times a week. He makes me feel better when boys make me feel down. I don't see him half as much as I should. I miss him terribly all the time.
3. Maine Man
- dated for maybe a month second semester of my freshman year of college
- I stomped all over this one
I started dating Maine Man a month or two after Reaper and I broke up. He was friends with one of my friend's (named Robin) boyfriends (named Skullcrusher). They lived across the hall from each other. He looked a lot like the Weston Footballer. He was sweet and innocent. He drove all the way from Maine (where he lived) to Connecticut to get me to bring me to school...in upstate New York. We got him really drunk one night and he couldn't find his way back to his own dorm. None of us helped him home. His heart was totally in the right place, but I wasn't over Reaper. He also had the tinest smallest little weiner...ever. It was sad. If I had known this, I would have never gotten involved with him in the first place. I broke up with him when I was drunk, then slid down a muddy hill on my ass. And not on purpose. I broke the poor boy's heart. It gets better though. He lived with Skullcrusher our sophmore year of college. Skullcrusher was terribly in love with Robin...and she broke up with him. And I went to pick up the pieces. That was awkward. Then one night I went to a party with Skullcrusher and Maine Man and I wanted to go home. Skullcrusher told Maine Man to walk me home. He did and then he told me all the bad things about me. Awesome conversation.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I broke up with him. I wasn't over Reaper. It just wasn't working. He had a tiny weiner.
Friendship status - He left after first sememester of sophmore year. I think I might have talked to him once since then and he was engaged.
4. The Reject
- Dated him for 3-4 months first semester of my sophmore year of college
- Worst. Boyfriend. Ever.
I started dating The Reject for really only one reason. My grandfather was dying from throat/lung cancer. I was in upstate New York. I was so upset and I needed someone to make me feel better. In addition, I was really sick. I was sleeping all the time and couldn't get out of bed and I had the nastiest worst migraines as well. Because of all my sleeping, I really don't remember much of my relationship with The Reject and that's probably for the best. I was in sad fucking shape, my friends. Enter The Reject. His friend (Kellen) was dating one of my friends (Liz) and that's how I met him. He was short. Like, 5'4". I'm 5'10". We were weird together. He had gotten into a serious car accident with Bootcamp Boyfriend and another friend of theirs. He wasn't a good boyfriend because he did nothing to try to make me feel special. He would stay with me at my college dorm and talk to other girls online about how we were breaking up. Of course, I had AIM logging, so I found these conversations. I went with Liz and surprised him at his house one day. He was on the phone with another girl. He had a really hard time holding down a job. He more or less sucked at life. He's the boyfriend I never talk about becaues it's flat out embarassing that I would have dated him. He started going to the college that The Statie went to...a year after I graduated. From what I hear, he went looking for me and couldn't find me. Because I had graduated. Fucking moron.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - I did. I realized that I needed to be better and I needed to fix myself and he wasn't a part of that. He was probably cheating on me too. Oh, and he was a reject
Friendship status - What do you think? He still IMs Darcy from time to time though.
5. Bootcamp Boyfriend
- Dated him on and off for 2 years, starting my sophmore year of college and ending my senior year. TWO FUCKING YEARS
- He gets in my brain and I can't get him out
- Amazing sex. Totally amazing.
Bootcamp Boyfriend was friends with The Reject, which was how I met him. He was totally charming and totally into me. When we first started dating, he would come to see me every weekend (he lived like an hour away in the boonies). He worked nights, but would still come to see me. One weekend, he didn't come to see me and he was kind of ignoring me. So I got a little drunk and hooked up with this other guy. I came clean, but that was always awkward. When things between us were good, they were great and excellent. I totally loved him. I really did. The end. He sent me flowers when I had to get my tonsils out over the summer. He missed me while I was gone. Then it was time for me to go back to school and back to him...and he stopped returning my calls. He stopped talking to me altogether. He didn't want to date me anymore, I guess? I can't tell you how we got back together, but we did. It might have been because my computer broke and he offered to fix it. We might have been talking by IM? Then we started talking more and more and got back together. My roommates hated him (with good reason) but I tried to make them like him. He would make me cry on a daily basis. He was totally emotionally abusive. I put up with that for two years. I don't even know how. I would only see him on the weekends, as I said. We would talk during the week and he would tell me about the other girls that he worked with and how they were hitting on him and they had bigger tits than I did and so on and so forth. I would cry and feel like shit. Then at the end of the conversation, he would tell me he loved me. And when he saw me, he would tell me how much he loved me and how he couldn't live without me. I bought into that. We kept on breaking up and making up for a long time. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I started working with a group of people that helped me think the best of myself. I stopped sleeping so much and I lost 25 pounds. My confidence grew. I was strong enough to get out of my emotionally abusive relationship and recognize it as such. I finally had enough in me to get rid of him and move on and be a better person. A better, more amazing person. I wanted my friends back. I wanted to be like I was. He, meanwhile, was dating some girl that was cheating on him. His dad got married and even before my senior year in college and his dad's new wife told me that I wasn't invited to the wedding. I didn't need him. But for some reason, I saw him. He came upstairs to my dorm room, pushed me up against the door and said "I love you still. Always." Uh, what? So we had a thing that didn't go well my senior year of college. It was always like pulling teeth to try to get him to come and see me. The few times that we did though, we had a great time. He would be excellent boyfriend when we were together. He would be not excellent boyfriend...every other time. That math doesn't add up. I met The Statie as my relationship with Bootcamp Boyfriend came to a halt. One of the last days when I was at college, packing up my room before graduation, he called me. He was hysterical in tears. Like, couldn't get the words out tears. He was telling me how much he loved me and how awesome I was and how he couldn't live without me and so on and so forth. I didn't buy it. We then didn't talk for a while until I had this crazy ass dream about him. I emailed him, expecting him to not return my email or anything. He called. He was leaving for Bootcamp. He said he wanted to see me, but since I know him and that most everything he says is a lie, I doubted him. He got mad and hung up on me and that's the last I heard from him. We hated each other most of the time but we had awesome and amazing sex. That might have been why I stayed with him. I'll admit it.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - Pick a time. Sometimes it was him, sometimes it was mutual. The last time and the time that stuck, it was me. I got tired of being emotionally shoved to the floor. I got up, dusted myself off and got rid of him
Friendship status - He was at bootcamp the last time I knew. He has yet to return an email.
6.The Statie
- dated him for just over a year
- went to the state college across the street from my private college
- finally stopped calling me
He was my most recent boyfriend. I fell pretty hard for this one and I don't know why. He was dumb. I took a year of boyfriend detox from him and now I'm much better and much more awesome. He rode in on the coattails of my breakup with Bootcamp Boyfriend. Some of my friends from my school used to go to the state college and introduced me to him. We all would live at the bar my senior year, so that's where I met him. He was always at mug night. We had some playful flirting to start. One night I was down there and I was only going to stay for a beer or two. I didn't have money and I was cranky as shit and I just didn't like people. He saw me as I was leaving and asked me where I was going. I told him I was broke and going home. He offered to buy me a beer. And then another. And another. At about 2 AM, we were going back to his dorm to drink more beer. I ended up spending the night at his place...in his bed. He was in his roommate's bed. I remember calling Reaper on my walk of not shame back to my side of the street. Not long after that we started dating. We had a lot of fun and things were good. There was this girl that worked at the bar that we called (and I'm not proud of this name, but I didn't come up with it) Shovelface. She really liked The Statie. She liked him so much that since State and U had different spring breaks, she told him that they should hang out...when I was on break. I was pretty pissed. He did end up coming back from his spring break early just to hang out with me. My friends liked him, I liked him and all was good. We thought we would have some fling until the end of the year, but it turned out not to be that way. We dated all summer long and I was in love with him. We were in love. But I graduated and was looking for bigger and better things to do with my life and he...didn't finish his degree. He's 2-4 credits short. He's still not done. Although it was cute for everyone to drink a lot in college, the further removed we got from it, the less socially acceptable it became. My family liked him, but he was a drunk. So things started falling apart. He came to visit one weekend and all we fucking did was fight. He picked a fight with me over Trivial Pursuit 90's edition. I can't make that up. We broke up not long after that. He started dating another girl that I call Trainwreck. She was a real upgrade from me: worked in the fish department at Pricechopper, had a baby, the baby daddy was nailing a 16 year old, she just barely had a high school education, etc. I was feeling pretty wounded and saw no reason for him to want to be with her and not be with me. I got over that though. Then The Statie and Trainwreck broke up because she was cheating on him...SURPRISE! That's when the phone calls and texts started. He would call me at all hours of the night, begging me to come back to him and answer his phone calls and send me these emo text messages about how he couldn't live without me and he needed me and so on. I had no patience for that. One night, he called me like, 12 times, no joke. I answered the phone on the 13th time and just yelled at him. Not my proudest moment, but I couldn't take the 4 AM calls anymore. He's since stopped calling which is good, cause I just don't care.
Reason we broke up and who did the breaking - He did the first time. Then he kept on crawling back and I didn't want him
Friendship status - Not on your life.
Wow. Looking at all of this...wow. I'm a fucking magical person. Each and every one of those dumbass boys helped me get here. They helped me to believe in myself and my general awesomeness. I might hate some of them, but I can't help but thank them a little bit
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Ugh
In talking to The Brewmaster yesterday (because I went out last night with him and Summer), I found out that he had talked to Jimbo about Saturday night and Trogdor's plans. And apparently, Trogdor KNOWS I don't want to hang out with him...and he keeps on asking anyway. I think that's more annoying than him being dumb and not know that I don't want to hang out. It's not even like how you ask someone you work with if they want to come to lunch everyday knowing that she will say no. He has NO REASON to ask me to do anything, but he keeps on doing it. I was so annoyed when I found out. Stop it Trogdor. Just. Stop. It.
Otherwise, I invited The Graduate to come out with Summer and The Brewmaster and I. And surprisingly enough...he came out! I think he had a fun time (I'm talking to him now) and he hasn't said no. I was just inviting him thinking he would have something better to do and he didn't. It was nice to have him there, I think Summer and The Brewmaster liked him. I also got stuck telling a really embarassing story, but I thankfully dodged that bullet. It involved me riding my bike when I was 8 years old screaming "I am Darkwing Duck" and then riding my bike into a tree and wetting my pants. I also might have screamed "I am the terror that flaps in the night!" That's the story. I'm such a winner.
Otherwise, I invited The Graduate to come out with Summer and The Brewmaster and I. And surprisingly enough...he came out! I think he had a fun time (I'm talking to him now) and he hasn't said no. I was just inviting him thinking he would have something better to do and he didn't. It was nice to have him there, I think Summer and The Brewmaster liked him. I also got stuck telling a really embarassing story, but I thankfully dodged that bullet. It involved me riding my bike when I was 8 years old screaming "I am Darkwing Duck" and then riding my bike into a tree and wetting my pants. I also might have screamed "I am the terror that flaps in the night!" That's the story. I'm such a winner.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Darcy finds the winners...
***I put the stuff she copied and pasted to me in italics. I don't know if that makes it better or worse***
Darcy: There's a boy talking to me...
Darcy: He's 21.
Me: what boy?
Me: and why?
Darcy: rides a horse...
Darcy: And his name is gunther....
Me: is he a cowboy?
Me: that's not a real person darcy, you might have dreamed him up
Darcy: Hahhaha... I don't believe so... but he hunts and likes country music.
Darcy: Hahhhaa!
Darcy: well, if you hop on POF, his name is guns.
Darcy: He's real...
Darcy:
guns: how do you feel about people who have speech problumes because i do i get pick on alot
Me: exactly
Me: oh dear...he can't conjuate verbs
Me: darcy, it's time to cut and run
Me: CUT AND RUN
Darcy: Hahaha! Get a load of this...
Darcy:
guns: u can understand me but i slur
D: May I ask what sort you have?
D: Well, it's funny you mention that...My mom is a speech
pathologist.
Me: what did i say? cut and run
Darcy:
guns: i was born with a enlarged tounge had plastic surgery in 6 grade i have improved but still slur since then
Me: an enlarged tounge?
Me: uh, what?
Darcy: I don't know...
Me: i think he's making that up
Me: maybe he slurs cause he's a drunk
Me: and darcy, i say again
Me: cut
Me: and
Me: run
Darcy: Hahaha!
Darcy: You'll love this...
Darcy:
guns: HEY I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY FOR WORK DO U MIND IF I GET YOU
NUMBER HEATHER
Darcy: Yup... He can't even scroll to the beginning of the convo to check on my name.
Me: if i get you number heather?
Darcy: Yup.
Darcy:
guns: by the way your beautiful
D: Well, gosh...
D: That's right kind of you..
guns: ure welcome
Darcy: Yup... I'm BTW Beautiful....
Me: does he know you're talking to him like he's a cowboy?
Darcy: I don't think so....
Darcy: I don't think I did either...
Darcy: There's a boy talking to me...
Darcy: He's 21.
Me: what boy?
Me: and why?
Darcy: rides a horse...
Darcy: And his name is gunther....
Me: is he a cowboy?
Me: that's not a real person darcy, you might have dreamed him up
Darcy: Hahhaha... I don't believe so... but he hunts and likes country music.
Darcy: Hahhhaa!
Darcy: well, if you hop on POF, his name is guns.
Darcy: He's real...
Darcy:
guns: how do you feel about people who have speech problumes because i do i get pick on alot
Me: exactly
Me: oh dear...he can't conjuate verbs
Me: darcy, it's time to cut and run
Me: CUT AND RUN
Darcy: Hahaha! Get a load of this...
Darcy:
guns: u can understand me but i slur
D: May I ask what sort you have?
D: Well, it's funny you mention that...My mom is a speech
pathologist.
Me: what did i say? cut and run
Darcy:
guns: i was born with a enlarged tounge had plastic surgery in 6 grade i have improved but still slur since then
Me: an enlarged tounge?
Me: uh, what?
Darcy: I don't know...
Me: i think he's making that up
Me: maybe he slurs cause he's a drunk
Me: and darcy, i say again
Me: cut
Me: and
Me: run
Darcy: Hahaha!
Darcy: You'll love this...
Darcy:
guns: HEY I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY FOR WORK DO U MIND IF I GET YOU
NUMBER HEATHER
Darcy: Yup... He can't even scroll to the beginning of the convo to check on my name.
Me: if i get you number heather?
Darcy: Yup.
Darcy:
guns: by the way your beautiful
D: Well, gosh...
D: That's right kind of you..
guns: ure welcome
Darcy: Yup... I'm BTW Beautiful....
Me: does he know you're talking to him like he's a cowboy?
Darcy: I don't think so....
Darcy: I don't think I did either...
Really?
Last night, Trogdor IMed me. Again. And he told me that he was going out with Jimbo to some place in Yonkers to see some band play on Saturday night. He wanted to know if I wanted to join him. That would be a big, fat NO. I told him I have plans to take my brothers to dinner (which I do) and I don't know how late I will be out. That part is a lie because I have a ballpark idea. And I'm hoping to make other plans after dinner.
Does he really not get the hint that much? I don't talk to him really AT ALL. EVER. Does he not get that I don't want to hang out with him? What he's doing is about equal to me IMing Dickhole Pete and asking if he wanted to go out. I don't talk to him (but I know why) and he's not involved in my life. The results would be the same: No, we're not friends and back off.
I don't know when Jimbo became the BFF with Trogdor, but whatever. Oh Jimbo, I'll have to have a talk with you and your BFFedness with Trogdor. Even the The Brewmaster is like "Jimbo is going out with Trogdor on Saturday night...?"
We're all confused.
Now, The Graduate and Radio Flyer - get to asking me what I'm doing. C'mon, you know you want to. Should I suggest something for us to do? Probably. Am I going to? Nope. "He's just not that into you" told me that I shouldn't. Let's see what happens.
Does he really not get the hint that much? I don't talk to him really AT ALL. EVER. Does he not get that I don't want to hang out with him? What he's doing is about equal to me IMing Dickhole Pete and asking if he wanted to go out. I don't talk to him (but I know why) and he's not involved in my life. The results would be the same: No, we're not friends and back off.
I don't know when Jimbo became the BFF with Trogdor, but whatever. Oh Jimbo, I'll have to have a talk with you and your BFFedness with Trogdor. Even the The Brewmaster is like "Jimbo is going out with Trogdor on Saturday night...?"
We're all confused.
Now, The Graduate and Radio Flyer - get to asking me what I'm doing. C'mon, you know you want to. Should I suggest something for us to do? Probably. Am I going to? Nope. "He's just not that into you" told me that I shouldn't. Let's see what happens.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Epic fail
Last night Summer texted me saying that Old Man invited her and me and Summer's Husband to a picnic. On the 4th. At Nacho's house. Nope, I don't think so. I told Summer to tell Old Man that I was busy (I probably will be, I'm really popular) and that Nacho can go fuck himself. And he can shove his party up his ass.
I thought Old Man picked up on the fact that something was wrong considering how everything had gone down the weeks leading up to the Nacho fuckhead incident. We were drinking and I know that makes everyone dumb and whatever…but he couldn’t figure it out? And furthermore, Nacho didn’t realize something was wrong WHEN HE WAS A TOTAL ASSHOLE?! I’m sure Old Man said “oh, I’m going to invite Summer and Summer's Husband and Carrie” and Nacho said nothing?! Really? Does he not get it either.
Moral of the story: Nacho, you do not pass go, you do not collect $200, you do not get me at your party and you don't get into my pants.
I thought Old Man picked up on the fact that something was wrong considering how everything had gone down the weeks leading up to the Nacho fuckhead incident. We were drinking and I know that makes everyone dumb and whatever…but he couldn’t figure it out? And furthermore, Nacho didn’t realize something was wrong WHEN HE WAS A TOTAL ASSHOLE?! I’m sure Old Man said “oh, I’m going to invite Summer and Summer's Husband and Carrie” and Nacho said nothing?! Really? Does he not get it either.
Moral of the story: Nacho, you do not pass go, you do not collect $200, you do not get me at your party and you don't get into my pants.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Radio Flyer!
Not the red wagon as above, but the actual person. I twittered about my night and that made it kind of awesome. I might have maybe had a few too many beverages. I was okay though. My teacher's band rocked, as usual. My ears are ringing now and I have no voice left, but other than that, I'm no worse for the wear. He was very nice, a little bit more heavyset than his picture made him out to be. I have no issue with that cause I know you want to make yourself out to look hot. I was just saying. He seemed to enjoy himself and was liking the music. We only talked for a little bit cause it was so loud. Darcy went to the bathroom and we had a nice little moment alone. I didn't make out with him. I texted him before he got there that I was a hot mess. Mostly cause I was hot and sweaty and drunk and therefore, messy. He didn't seem to mind or care, which was good. Cause I didn't care if he did care. I haven't heard from him this morning, but that's kind of normal cause he works crazy hours. He's a sports writer in a newsroom and loves radio. So he's awesome. We talked about music briefly and I was buying him beers cause he got a new job and I told him I would. He told me next time the beers were on him. I also made super good friends with the bartender and he was getting me drinks as well. Love the bartender man. So, as usual, the Molly Darcy's experience was awesome. The next show is in late July and I don't know if I can make it. I have a lot of things going on that day.
There also was a strange man there that was dancing like a weeble. You remember weebles - "weebles wobble but they don't fall down". He kind of looked like the weeble in the picture, but only if it had dark hair. This large weeble man was gyrating around and we had to jump to get out of his gyrations. His dancing would have been more acceptable if he had a hula-hoop around his waist. But he didn't. He was just dancing away. He also had a horrible shirt on. But he was interesting.
In addition to the weeble man, there was this crazy former hippie guy there. He had a dirty beard and gross hair and he might have been smelly. But he was humping the speakers. Humping them. Like, crouching down and thrusting. And that was holy awkward. The first time I saw it I thought it was a fluke. Then he did it again. I made everyone watch. He was terrifying. He would come up behind people and be all in their business, watching them and humping them. He went after Darcy. I told her that if we were at a Dead show and we were all strung out on LSD, that might be okay. But we weren't, so it wasn't. It was just awkward
Friday, June 13, 2008
Last night
So last night I went out with The Graduate. He's really very nice and kind of cute. As the pictures below show, he bought me some beautiful flowers. They smell so good and I was totally shocked that he would do that. Reaper was telling me how totally old school that is and he's right, it is. I don't expect things like that from guys in their 20s now. It really made me smile but then I realized I had to make up a reason as to why I would have them when I got home. They are in my room right now and I smiled really big when I woke up and saw them there.
We talked about music and growing up where we did. He told me about all the traveling that he's done (he's been to Iceland, Australia, India, New Zealand and I think a bunch of other places I forgot), his transfer from Uconn to U of Maryland, his degree in economics...you get the drift. We went to this really tasty chinese food place not too far from where we both live. After dinner, we went to the Greek festival down the street. We walked around for a bit but no one was really there. And I tripped on an extension cord but didn't fall down. Amazing.
We decided to go to the beach because I really wanted to go on the swings. Really. When we got to the beach it was like 9:30ish and all the really sketchy people were there. We walked down to the end of the pier and talked there for a while. Then we walked back down by the water and I stuck my feet in and hoped I didn't step on a piece of broken glass. That's the sort of luck I have. We then found some swings and were swinging for a bit. I cut my toe on a rock. I was bleeding. It was fantastic fun.
We went back to the car and he was really sweet and didn't try anything. He wasn't all trying to make out with me like Dickhole Pete and I really appreciated it. It's not that I didn't want that, but I felt so awkward, so I was glad that he didn't do that. When we left, he said that he would email me today and I was like "oh, okay. later!" and then...no emails all morning. Or during lunch. Finally at like, almost 3 he emailed to say that he was really busy at work and just dropped me a quick note. Relief. Someone likes me. Or something. Who really knows?
Radio Flyer is Saturday night. Now that I have twittered my page, I can update from the bar on Saturday night. Does anyone else think that's a totally fantastic and horrible idea all at once?
We talked about music and growing up where we did. He told me about all the traveling that he's done (he's been to Iceland, Australia, India, New Zealand and I think a bunch of other places I forgot), his transfer from Uconn to U of Maryland, his degree in economics...you get the drift. We went to this really tasty chinese food place not too far from where we both live. After dinner, we went to the Greek festival down the street. We walked around for a bit but no one was really there. And I tripped on an extension cord but didn't fall down. Amazing.
We decided to go to the beach because I really wanted to go on the swings. Really. When we got to the beach it was like 9:30ish and all the really sketchy people were there. We walked down to the end of the pier and talked there for a while. Then we walked back down by the water and I stuck my feet in and hoped I didn't step on a piece of broken glass. That's the sort of luck I have. We then found some swings and were swinging for a bit. I cut my toe on a rock. I was bleeding. It was fantastic fun.
We went back to the car and he was really sweet and didn't try anything. He wasn't all trying to make out with me like Dickhole Pete and I really appreciated it. It's not that I didn't want that, but I felt so awkward, so I was glad that he didn't do that. When we left, he said that he would email me today and I was like "oh, okay. later!" and then...no emails all morning. Or during lunch. Finally at like, almost 3 he emailed to say that he was really busy at work and just dropped me a quick note. Relief. Someone likes me. Or something. Who really knows?
Radio Flyer is Saturday night. Now that I have twittered my page, I can update from the bar on Saturday night. Does anyone else think that's a totally fantastic and horrible idea all at once?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
More later but...
Look what The Graduate brought me. Disregard the ugly vase. My mom says that those are Sweet William
This almost made me choke and die
Me: i've wanted to swing on a swingset for about a month now. i need to find one. but since we live in Greenwich and there's like, no such thing as a park, i'm shit out of luck. i do have a beach sticker, so i suppose i could drive down there and swing on the swings. you need to go with a friend so you don't look like a pedophile creeper.
The Graduate: after dinner, i know where we can find us a swing or two. yeah, i'll leave you guessing. i dont think there is any rule against swinging one hour after eating right?
i sometimes enjoy climbing trees, finding treasures in my nose and going to concerts. well at least two of those three.
Bonus points for you
The Graduate: after dinner, i know where we can find us a swing or two. yeah, i'll leave you guessing. i dont think there is any rule against swinging one hour after eating right?
i sometimes enjoy climbing trees, finding treasures in my nose and going to concerts. well at least two of those three.
Bonus points for you
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Some new characters
I have two new guys. And they both want to see me this week. So here's the rundown. They are suitors 6 and 7, respectively (taking into account Footweiner McLovin, The Hipster, Ryan, Trogdor and Dickhole Pete who were all the suitors before them).
Suitor 6 - The Graduate - I'm calling him that because he graduated from my high school when I was a freshman. He's plenty nice. We've been talking a lot about music and what sort of things we like. He alerted me to a Katy Perry concert in the city last night (which I didn't go to in the end). He wanted to see if I wanted to get dinner sometime this week. He commutes from our hometown to the city every day, so we wouldn't be getting dinner until later. As I said, he's way into music and I like that. At first I thought we would be concert buddies but now I am confused. We'll see how this plays out.
Suitor 7 - Radio Flyer - Lilo called him that because we started talking because of our mutual love of radio. He would get my nonsense rambling messages on Match and just go with it, which I have to applaud him for dealing with. We've been talking online when we can and he amuses me. He's very nice. He's meeting up with me when I'm going out with Summer, her Husband and Darcy on Saturday night. He also suggested dinner this week but I told him that my commute was long (which it is) and that by the time I get home, I really have no patience for anyone. That kind of contradicts what I'm doing with The Graduate, but since dinner won't be until 8, I have enough time to cool down. Besides, Greenwich is far from Brookfield. It would take me all night to get from Greenwich to Brookfield.
Those are the men right now. We'll have to see how this works. I'll be sure to keep this blog updated as soon as I know what's up.
And on a total unrelated side note...every time I turn around, I swear Dickhole Pete's Brother is behind me. He works on the other side of the building so there is a chance he would be over here, but I swear, I see him like 10 times a day. And he's always leering at me or something. Today The Brewmaster and I were at the deli across the street. I was standing there ordering a salad and The Brewmaster whispers to me that I should turn around. I knew what was up though. I refused because I had a feeling it was Dickhole Pete's Brother. And it was. When I was telling The Brewmaster that DPB was everywhere I turned, he didn't believe me. Now he sees what I'm saying. Bastard
And totally unrelated, I found a picture of the man from the Sam Adams ads that I am totally in love with.
Suitor 6 - The Graduate - I'm calling him that because he graduated from my high school when I was a freshman. He's plenty nice. We've been talking a lot about music and what sort of things we like. He alerted me to a Katy Perry concert in the city last night (which I didn't go to in the end). He wanted to see if I wanted to get dinner sometime this week. He commutes from our hometown to the city every day, so we wouldn't be getting dinner until later. As I said, he's way into music and I like that. At first I thought we would be concert buddies but now I am confused. We'll see how this plays out.
Suitor 7 - Radio Flyer - Lilo called him that because we started talking because of our mutual love of radio. He would get my nonsense rambling messages on Match and just go with it, which I have to applaud him for dealing with. We've been talking online when we can and he amuses me. He's very nice. He's meeting up with me when I'm going out with Summer, her Husband and Darcy on Saturday night. He also suggested dinner this week but I told him that my commute was long (which it is) and that by the time I get home, I really have no patience for anyone. That kind of contradicts what I'm doing with The Graduate, but since dinner won't be until 8, I have enough time to cool down. Besides, Greenwich is far from Brookfield. It would take me all night to get from Greenwich to Brookfield.
Those are the men right now. We'll have to see how this works. I'll be sure to keep this blog updated as soon as I know what's up.
And on a total unrelated side note...every time I turn around, I swear Dickhole Pete's Brother is behind me. He works on the other side of the building so there is a chance he would be over here, but I swear, I see him like 10 times a day. And he's always leering at me or something. Today The Brewmaster and I were at the deli across the street. I was standing there ordering a salad and The Brewmaster whispers to me that I should turn around. I knew what was up though. I refused because I had a feeling it was Dickhole Pete's Brother. And it was. When I was telling The Brewmaster that DPB was everywhere I turned, he didn't believe me. Now he sees what I'm saying. Bastard
And totally unrelated, I found a picture of the man from the Sam Adams ads that I am totally in love with.
Monday, June 9, 2008
From Collegecandy.com
Both of these links had me rolling. And since this blog is about sex just as much as it's about dating...they had to be posted.
I've had the leg thing happen to me
Cosmo, you've let us all down again
I've had the leg thing happen to me
Cosmo, you've let us all down again
Music makes you lose control
I was thinking today as I danced around my room getting dressed. I know, I was dancing and thinking...AT THE SAME TIME. That's not the point. I was listening to my old ipod, the one that has old playlists and old music from my computer that I used in college. I had made a mix called "strange love kind of feeling" and so it had all sorts of songs relating to love. Many were from Dave Matthews Band...I was that kind of college student. What struck me though is the songs that I put on there that reminded me of ex-boyfriends and ex-crushes. When those songs came on, all I could think of was that person. So here's the rundown of things that were ruined by exs that I've mostly reclaimed as my own. For some songs, I have no idea why they remind me of the ex. For others - the reasons make more sense.
- Dickhole Pete - ruined "Parade of Punk Rock T-shirts" by Maritime. I was listening to that before I met him for dinner. It's a great song to run to, so I've been listening to it when I work out and thinking of how much of a dickhole he was makes me run faster and harder. Or something.
- Reaper - "Stellar" by Incubus. Since I really don't hate Reaper in any sense of the word, it was easy to bring this one back to me. Actually, almost all of the "Make Yourself" album by Incubus reminds me of Reaper. My copy of that CD got stuck in the CD player in his car and he bought me a new one cause he felt so bad. We went to see Incubus once and it was awesome.
- Bootcamp Boyfriend – I associate him most frequently with Incubus. I think that was the first thing that we realized that we had in common. He burned me a copy of “Crow Left of the Murder” and I had a hard time listening to it for a while because it reminded me of him and also because his writing is on the CD. He also ruined the Lostprophets for a while too. The only song he still might have a hold on is “Last Summer”. I don’t think it’s as bad as it used to be since I don’t talk to him anymore. We used to share a lot of music though.
- The Statie – he didn’t get music. Really and seriously. He liked Jack Johnson, but that is so chill that no one can really change it. He also went with me to see Incubus (twice) but the first time was the time that mattered. It was our one year anniversary and he was being really sweet. Or he was until we met up with some friends of mine (they’re in a band) and The Statie got drunk and was telling them stories of other girls he slept with. That did not amuse me. I was pretty pissed, actually. Since I’m now totally and officially done with him, taking this music back was no problem. I really don’t think of him or talk to him anymore, so nothing much reminds me of him.
- The Engineer – “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by the Barenaked Ladies. Also “Martha My Dear” by The Beatles. I don’t hear those songs as often as the other ones, but it still brings back memories of me almost being a dirty skank. Good thing I wasn’t.
I feel like there should be more boys on that list, but I guess there really isn’t. That’s okay though. I want a guy that gets music, but at the same time, I don’t because then they take that music away from me. It’s hard when you hear a song and it brings you back to that moment and you think of that guy and your feelings and the smells and the summer breeze or whatever and realize that he was an asshole, you never actually got along with him and that part of your life you can never get back. You know, just as an example.
-
- Dickhole Pete - ruined "Parade of Punk Rock T-shirts" by Maritime. I was listening to that before I met him for dinner. It's a great song to run to, so I've been listening to it when I work out and thinking of how much of a dickhole he was makes me run faster and harder. Or something.
- Reaper - "Stellar" by Incubus. Since I really don't hate Reaper in any sense of the word, it was easy to bring this one back to me. Actually, almost all of the "Make Yourself" album by Incubus reminds me of Reaper. My copy of that CD got stuck in the CD player in his car and he bought me a new one cause he felt so bad. We went to see Incubus once and it was awesome.
- Bootcamp Boyfriend – I associate him most frequently with Incubus. I think that was the first thing that we realized that we had in common. He burned me a copy of “Crow Left of the Murder” and I had a hard time listening to it for a while because it reminded me of him and also because his writing is on the CD. He also ruined the Lostprophets for a while too. The only song he still might have a hold on is “Last Summer”. I don’t think it’s as bad as it used to be since I don’t talk to him anymore. We used to share a lot of music though.
- The Statie – he didn’t get music. Really and seriously. He liked Jack Johnson, but that is so chill that no one can really change it. He also went with me to see Incubus (twice) but the first time was the time that mattered. It was our one year anniversary and he was being really sweet. Or he was until we met up with some friends of mine (they’re in a band) and The Statie got drunk and was telling them stories of other girls he slept with. That did not amuse me. I was pretty pissed, actually. Since I’m now totally and officially done with him, taking this music back was no problem. I really don’t think of him or talk to him anymore, so nothing much reminds me of him.
- The Engineer – “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by the Barenaked Ladies. Also “Martha My Dear” by The Beatles. I don’t hear those songs as often as the other ones, but it still brings back memories of me almost being a dirty skank. Good thing I wasn’t.
I feel like there should be more boys on that list, but I guess there really isn’t. That’s okay though. I want a guy that gets music, but at the same time, I don’t because then they take that music away from me. It’s hard when you hear a song and it brings you back to that moment and you think of that guy and your feelings and the smells and the summer breeze or whatever and realize that he was an asshole, you never actually got along with him and that part of your life you can never get back. You know, just as an example.
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Sunday, June 8, 2008
Is that so?
I was talking to some guy on the Match.com instant message thing on Friday night. I asked him what he did and he told me that he was really good with his hands. He also told me that he tells every he's sexy all the time.
2 strikes and you're out, buddy.
As I told him that I needed to go, he asked if he could talk to me again. No, not really.
Why is everyone so fucking weird?
2 strikes and you're out, buddy.
As I told him that I needed to go, he asked if he could talk to me again. No, not really.
Why is everyone so fucking weird?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Guest Blogger!
This is Summer.
Carrie has graciously allowed me to guest blog…because even though I’m
married, it doesn’t mean I don’t encounter my fair share of creeps.
Actually this post is about one of my closest co-worker friends, who is
anything but a creep. Although he exhibited some creep-like qualities when
we were going for a quick walk around the mall at lunch the other day.
We will call him Hampshire, because his family has a vacation home in New
Hampshire. (I’m not as witty as Carrie with the boy pseudonyms)
So Hampshire and I were strolling around Barnes and Noble the other day and
all of a sudden he asks when the husband and I are going to have kids.
Excuse me???
I mean, he was at my wedding and everything, but still. It really is no one
else’s business. And no matter how close I am with a co-worker, I don’t
think I’d ask them anything like that!
I’m 23. Kids are the LAST thing on my mind. I don’t even like kids. (don’t
hate me for it!). I’m assuming my “maternal instinct” will kick in at some
point and I will want kids, but at the moment, no thanks.
When I said as much, he kind of wouldn’t drop the subject and kept saying
things like “really?” or “why not?”
Are you kidding me? I mean, Hampshire was kind of joking around and it was
all pretty light hearted, but still.
Creepy.
Just because a girl is married doesn’t mean she is ready or wanting to drop
everything to get pregnant…actually I am terrified of it.
Carrie has graciously allowed me to guest blog…because even though I’m
married, it doesn’t mean I don’t encounter my fair share of creeps.
Actually this post is about one of my closest co-worker friends, who is
anything but a creep. Although he exhibited some creep-like qualities when
we were going for a quick walk around the mall at lunch the other day.
We will call him Hampshire, because his family has a vacation home in New
Hampshire. (I’m not as witty as Carrie with the boy pseudonyms)
So Hampshire and I were strolling around Barnes and Noble the other day and
all of a sudden he asks when the husband and I are going to have kids.
Excuse me???
I mean, he was at my wedding and everything, but still. It really is no one
else’s business. And no matter how close I am with a co-worker, I don’t
think I’d ask them anything like that!
I’m 23. Kids are the LAST thing on my mind. I don’t even like kids. (don’t
hate me for it!). I’m assuming my “maternal instinct” will kick in at some
point and I will want kids, but at the moment, no thanks.
When I said as much, he kind of wouldn’t drop the subject and kept saying
things like “really?” or “why not?”
Are you kidding me? I mean, Hampshire was kind of joking around and it was
all pretty light hearted, but still.
Creepy.
Just because a girl is married doesn’t mean she is ready or wanting to drop
everything to get pregnant…actually I am terrified of it.
Realized something
This morning, I was doing my normal "dance around my room in my underpants" moment. I had my ipod on and it was playing some playlist that I picked at random. After about 2 songs, I realized which playlist it was. It was the playlist of a mix CD I made in college and gave to a guy. The guy was an engineer (and that's what I am going to call him) and he had a girlfriend. No, wait. He was engaged. And he did not like his girlfriend. At all.
So I made the Engineer this CD and pretty much all the songs said "get rid of your girlfriend and hook up with me". Wow. I almost was "THAT GIRL". I wasn't. I wised up/wasn't interesting to the Engineer before it went too far. I was just thinking this morning of how sleezy that would make me. Granted, he wasn't happy, but it wasn't my job to make him break up with her. In the end, Engineer was just too needy and didn't have a personality beyond the one that he formed with The Girlfriend. Also, Engineer and The Girlfriend have since broken up and moved on.
The Girlfriend is still in upstate NY and she has a new boyfriend and seems happy. The Engineer is in Boston and has a horse-faced girlfriend. He's not happy. He sent me a message the other day on Google chat telling me how much he wished that he hooked up with girls in college and how different that would have made him. He almost hooked up with me several times. Then he almost hooked up with two of my other friends. Then when I returned to my college for the spring weekend after I graduated, I found him wandering the streets holding hands with another girl. And that girl was totally ugly. And annoying.
I can't believe that I would have sunken that low to steal someone else's boyfriend. I didn't, but it almost was a reality. Glad I'm done with that...
So I made the Engineer this CD and pretty much all the songs said "get rid of your girlfriend and hook up with me". Wow. I almost was "THAT GIRL". I wasn't. I wised up/wasn't interesting to the Engineer before it went too far. I was just thinking this morning of how sleezy that would make me. Granted, he wasn't happy, but it wasn't my job to make him break up with her. In the end, Engineer was just too needy and didn't have a personality beyond the one that he formed with The Girlfriend. Also, Engineer and The Girlfriend have since broken up and moved on.
The Girlfriend is still in upstate NY and she has a new boyfriend and seems happy. The Engineer is in Boston and has a horse-faced girlfriend. He's not happy. He sent me a message the other day on Google chat telling me how much he wished that he hooked up with girls in college and how different that would have made him. He almost hooked up with me several times. Then he almost hooked up with two of my other friends. Then when I returned to my college for the spring weekend after I graduated, I found him wandering the streets holding hands with another girl. And that girl was totally ugly. And annoying.
I can't believe that I would have sunken that low to steal someone else's boyfriend. I didn't, but it almost was a reality. Glad I'm done with that...
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
And furthermore...
Going off the post a few down about how Nacho blew me off...who is he to say I'm a slut? Exactly when did flirting become slutty? I would never call myself a slut. Have I slept with several guys? Yes, I have. And although this is the interwebz, I'm not putting an actual number to that. Is it several dozen guys? No, it's not. I can sleep with whomever I want. Fuck him. But not really, cause he's an asshole.
I was talking with a co-worker today about when she stopped liking Sex and the City and she said it was the episode where Samantha gives the Fed-ex guy a blowjob and Carrie walks in on her. When I thought about that moment, I realized that maybe Samantha is the real slut. She hooked up with all sorts of men, none of them that she knew or cared about. That's not to say that I haven't hooked up with people and not cared, but everyone I hook up with isn't a total stranger. And a good number of the guys that make up the number I'm not saying I dated.
I realize now that starting from the moment that I dated my Weston Footballer, he changed things. I misplaced my virginity after junior prom. Probably not the proudest moment in my life, but since that moment, things have been interesting. I realize now that if I haven't slept with Reaper when I did, then he wouldn't be as big a part of my life as he is. If I never dated Bootcamp boyfriend on and off for two years, I wouldn't have been knocked down more than I could get up. But I also wouldn't have found it within myself to ditch him. Every guy, whether I dated him or just slept with him, made me realize something within my self, as corny and dumb as that sounds. Trying to sleep with with Nacho helped me to prove to myself that someone could just want me on the basis of me being hot that night. I needed that. I needed to know I could attractive someone in that horrible bad animalistic way. And I did. We see how well that went. I totally rule.
At least I'm at a point in my life where I see myself as being amazing and awesome and fantastic and fabulous. It took me a long ass time to get here. And I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.
P.S. On the sex note, if I don't have halfway decent sex by August, a mercy killing may be in order. Seriously guys, that marks a year and I might not be able to handle that as a reality. Seriously.
I was talking with a co-worker today about when she stopped liking Sex and the City and she said it was the episode where Samantha gives the Fed-ex guy a blowjob and Carrie walks in on her. When I thought about that moment, I realized that maybe Samantha is the real slut. She hooked up with all sorts of men, none of them that she knew or cared about. That's not to say that I haven't hooked up with people and not cared, but everyone I hook up with isn't a total stranger. And a good number of the guys that make up the number I'm not saying I dated.
I realize now that starting from the moment that I dated my Weston Footballer, he changed things. I misplaced my virginity after junior prom. Probably not the proudest moment in my life, but since that moment, things have been interesting. I realize now that if I haven't slept with Reaper when I did, then he wouldn't be as big a part of my life as he is. If I never dated Bootcamp boyfriend on and off for two years, I wouldn't have been knocked down more than I could get up. But I also wouldn't have found it within myself to ditch him. Every guy, whether I dated him or just slept with him, made me realize something within my self, as corny and dumb as that sounds. Trying to sleep with with Nacho helped me to prove to myself that someone could just want me on the basis of me being hot that night. I needed that. I needed to know I could attractive someone in that horrible bad animalistic way. And I did. We see how well that went. I totally rule.
At least I'm at a point in my life where I see myself as being amazing and awesome and fantastic and fabulous. It took me a long ass time to get here. And I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.
P.S. On the sex note, if I don't have halfway decent sex by August, a mercy killing may be in order. Seriously guys, that marks a year and I might not be able to handle that as a reality. Seriously.
Life lessons from "He's just not that into you"
- I only need one asshole in my life and I was born with it. Probably very correct.
- Be classy and not crazy. I can handle that
- Don't stalk someone on myspace. That one's a little harder.
Overall, quick and interesting read. I liked it.
- Be classy and not crazy. I can handle that
- Don't stalk someone on myspace. That one's a little harder.
Overall, quick and interesting read. I liked it.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Fucking A
Last night Summer, myself and her husband all went down to Queens to celebrate the Old Man's birthday. We actually ended up having lots of fun...if not for one thing. Nacho was there. And even after every stupid text message and phone call...it was like I didn't exsist. Excuse? Why would you do all of that, act interested and then just drop it? I think it's cause you're a fuck-head. To top it all off, there was another girl there (I call her Nemo) and I didn't know why. I guess Nacho had a thing with her at some point, but they are still kind of in and out of it. I have nothing against her, she's pretty cool. He's a total fucking asshole though. Regardless of what he thought, he could have handled the situation of telling me to come over, telling me to hook up with him and then having another girl be there and him be all about her better. He was really drunk, I mean REALLY drunk, so she'll go to sleep unsatisfied too. I'm just so annoyed that it played out that way. Not because I wanted anything to happen really, but because he was such a fucking dick, that's all. He also said that I WAS COMING ON TOO STRONG. That;s right, me. I wasn't the one trying to get someone to come to my apartment the weekend before. But I was somehow coming on too strong with my mildy suggestive text messages. He also hinted at the fact that I might have an issue in my hoo-hoo. I do not have any issues in my hoo-hoo and if I did, he's got them now. Again I say, what a fuckhead.
And it made me realize last night that I might have given up. I give up. I can't deal with these dumb mind games that every guy I know plays. Just say what you think and feel and you can't be faulted for that. You can be faulted, however, for doing one thing and then saying something else that doesn't jive with the action. I'll give you that last night I was a little tipsy and I donated blood in the morning and I was a little cranky, but still. I stood out on the street and talked to the Brewmaster about it. I was just about crying because it's so emotionally tolling to me to have to play these sorts of games. Why can't anyone be honest with anyone else anymore? Why can't anyone just say stuff as it is? I know I shouldn't be preaching about this, considering my history with Trogdor, but still. I'm done with the mind-fucks and I feel like saying that. I feel like telling every guy I know that I don't trust what they have to say. I just can't do it. I'm 23 and I'm so jaded that it's really sad. I don't know what it was about yesterday that made it all come crashing down, but it did. I've been pretty emo lately on the boy front, but I've had awesome people like Lilo and Darcy and Summer and I just love them and they make me feel fantastic and like I can conquer the world. Probably because I can.
After I had my meltdown in the street with the Brewmaster, I went into the bathroom with Summer and I looked into the mirror and I said "I'm fabulous. I'm so much better than this. I'm awesome and he's not and FUCK HIM!" and it kind of made me feel better. We'll see how that works. I might go and write something like that on my mirror upstairs just to remind me in case I forget.
I also went to the library yesteday and got "He's just not that into you" and I am going to read it. Maybe I will figure shit out now. I'll keep on updating about the book along the way. Maybe it will change my life? Probably not. Moral of last night's story: He's really not that into me and I don't fucking care. Asshole
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