As of late, I've only gotten one good note. And it's not really good as much as it's just...awkward: "saw your profile and wanted to chat a little....Just a little friendly talk thats all..." Why would you say "friendly talk"? What other kinds of talk are there? Awkward buddy. Just a little awkward.
Then I found some guy that had this written in his profile. I think I am in love: "Hmmm...We would both spend the morning talking to our friends and arranging for them to call during the afternoon, posing as a family emergency so that we could get out if things went terribly awry.We would meet in a public area so that we could assess the situation and confirm that we were both who we said we were and not some ogre with a grade school reading level. That goes both ways, of course. We would probably talk for a while and laugh about the armour we wore under our cleverly adorned and pretentious t-shirts for fear of having our kidneys stolen and put on the organ black market. If the initial encounter was successful, we would migrate to a public but more interesting locale, such as a museum or nice coffee shop so that we could impress each other with our knowledge of useless trivia or our respective caffeine tolerances. Of course we would go Dutch, because I am a modern man who respects your equality and ability to take care of yourself as a modern woman. Also, I am poor. Kind of. Our conversations would be long and snarky, full of obscure references to Calvin and Hobbes or the Far Side.Perhaps we would migrate to a dirty little restaurant (with lots of character and a killer cheesecake) in the East Village, where we would continue our discourse. I would have something with meat in it and have a 16 year old scotch on the rocks after dinner, just because I'm snooty like that. You would order whatever you desired, but hopefully something that I would like, so that I could ask for a bite and exclaim that I should have gotten what you did.Eventually our evening would come to a regretful end. I would offer to walk you home (because I'm a gentleman) and if you said 'Yes', I would actually do so. I would get you to your door and tell you that you looked pretty and that I had a great time and that I hoped to see you again. I'd give you a peck on the cheek and then I'd go home alone because I don't put out on the first date. Unless you really rocked my socks, in which case I would TOTALLY put out. "
God, please marry me man. He also wants to wear a kangaroo as a hat. On his head. All-purpose pouch and all
Then I found some guy that had this written in his profile. I think I am in love: "Hmmm...We would both spend the morning talking to our friends and arranging for them to call during the afternoon, posing as a family emergency so that we could get out if things went terribly awry.We would meet in a public area so that we could assess the situation and confirm that we were both who we said we were and not some ogre with a grade school reading level. That goes both ways, of course. We would probably talk for a while and laugh about the armour we wore under our cleverly adorned and pretentious t-shirts for fear of having our kidneys stolen and put on the organ black market. If the initial encounter was successful, we would migrate to a public but more interesting locale, such as a museum or nice coffee shop so that we could impress each other with our knowledge of useless trivia or our respective caffeine tolerances. Of course we would go Dutch, because I am a modern man who respects your equality and ability to take care of yourself as a modern woman. Also, I am poor. Kind of. Our conversations would be long and snarky, full of obscure references to Calvin and Hobbes or the Far Side.Perhaps we would migrate to a dirty little restaurant (with lots of character and a killer cheesecake) in the East Village, where we would continue our discourse. I would have something with meat in it and have a 16 year old scotch on the rocks after dinner, just because I'm snooty like that. You would order whatever you desired, but hopefully something that I would like, so that I could ask for a bite and exclaim that I should have gotten what you did.Eventually our evening would come to a regretful end. I would offer to walk you home (because I'm a gentleman) and if you said 'Yes', I would actually do so. I would get you to your door and tell you that you looked pretty and that I had a great time and that I hoped to see you again. I'd give you a peck on the cheek and then I'd go home alone because I don't put out on the first date. Unless you really rocked my socks, in which case I would TOTALLY put out. "
God, please marry me man. He also wants to wear a kangaroo as a hat. On his head. All-purpose pouch and all
2 comments:
Yes, that one was utterly fantastic!
~Darcy
What the hell kind of reference to the Far Side is obscure? Obscure is Sartre's notebooks, obscure is the B-Side of some indier-than-thou band. The Far Side is probably the least obscure thing that has ever existed ever.
But other than that he sounds like quite a neurotic cutie. Go for it!
xo
Lilo
Post a Comment